Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Halloween, look what you've done

If you're like me, you're tired of hearing anyone and everyone older than you saying "when I was a kid, ________ [insert national holiday here]____ was nothing like this, it was like __[insert simpler glazed over version of situation____."

And you may or may not roll your eyes.

I don't want to be another one of those people.

However, after abruptly picking up my tantruming 6 year old and leaving the fabric store this afternoon, I started to deconstruct how we got to that place. And my path went thusly

pre-20th century: superstitions, witch trials, people walked around with eye patches because they were actually missing an eyeball

mid 20th century: kindly-Norman-Rockwell-types passed out homemade candied apples to neighbors' kids that they knew by name, who dressed up in bedsheets and painted-green-faces. Razor blades and poison? What's that?

2011: My kids think that Halloween is as big as Christmas. I get questions like "why aren't we decorating [with $$$$'s of tacky tacky tackiness] for Halloween?" and the aforementioned "WHY CAN'T I GET GIANT [$20] BUTTERFLY WINGS WITH MY [$30} MERMAID COSTUME?! YOU ARE SO MEAN!!!"

I mean, I can't believe this is where I am.

I actually pulled her aside and gave her the age-old American guilt trip of most kids in this world didn't eat more than a bowl of grain today (widespread disease, child labor, pestilence, you know the spiel).
Did she care? Of course not.

No, all she cared about is how I was stopping her lifelong dream to become this:

Darn you Swimways WaterWays Mermaid Fairy! I blame you for the whole thing.

And now I'm going to look into ways to ship my kids to a third world country for a few weeks so they can experience some boils or have to milk a dehydrated goat for sustenance...

1 comment:

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