Showing posts with label conscience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conscience. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

only half awake as I type this



Now that I only have two weeks to go until the due date, I am tired all day long.
I feel really guilty about not having the energy to walk the dogs or run around with the baby at the playground.
We still go to the playground, but even the little Chinese grandmas at the park make me look like a sloth.

I don't remember being this tired before at this point, but then I don't remember alot of things.
I do remember sweating more and swelling more, for what that's worth, I'm thankful to be without that and that.

I'm looking forward to these things once the little bun arrives:

1. Laying on my stomach.
2. Hugging Kevin like normal person, not like a teepee.
3. When I get work requests, saying "I can't, I have two babies."
4. The last 3 inches of my belly being covered by my shirts.
5. Not sleeping with 4 extra strategically placed pillows around me at night.
6. Wearing my real wedding ring again.

Which of course outweighs the list of things I'm not happily anticipating:

1. Nursing.
2. Nursing.
3. Worrying about SIDS all over again.
4. Waking up every 2-3 hours.
5. Not having enough help and rest
6. Sharing our room with a baby again.

Tommorrow afternoon we'll know if I've "progressed" any further. I'm pessimistic about the chance of an early delivery. Honestly deep down, I think he'll be late like his sister and by my calculations that means he'll be the size of a Butterball turkey.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

why do we do this?

Are you like me?
When you wake up in the morning and are so tired that you feel you've been steamrolled to the mattress, do you make promises to yourself?
"I will take a nap as soon as the opportunity arises. And if nothing less, I will go to bed early."

And then later-- no nap, and you stay up past midnight?

Me too!

Why?

I'm so tired right now, but I don't want to lay in bed.
Okay, I know why I don't want to lay down, because I've got a pumpkin stuffed between my liver and small intestines.
But I do need sleep. Rilly-bad.

And what am I gonna do after I publish this post?
Windowshop on eBay.

I'll never learn.