it's totally a sign

Does anyone else out there, turn on the computer, and click around for no reason, with absolutely no satisfaction?
When I am a complete vacuum of motivation, I watch TV or click aimlessly on the computer.
But it sucks.
And it's dumb, I don't know what I'm looking for. I'm just clicking.

Both TV and the internet create a life-sucking sensation in my chest.
The same feeling as if I were unhappily sitting at work. But I'm at home!

Normally I would go take a drive, but a certain 20 pound insect has a way of nixing those plans.
(When her motivation is low, she wants to go outside and eat bark and dirt clods. I think that's the infant-equivalent of surfing the net.)

This is not a monologue about having nothing do to. Because mother-of-jefferson-davis, there's plenty to do. But I know if I pull a project out to work on it, I'll slow to a hault and just stare at it.

If you could see me now I'm staring like livestock at the screen...