Saturday, November 15, 2008

I'm exhausted

Let me preface this by saying, I'm not complaining.

I'm just reporting. It's my blog after all, I need to tell me about me.

This is how I gauge my exhaustion:

I'm too tired to /I can't handle:

-closing kitchen cabinets
-opening the garage door to recycle something
-do anything but read aloud to or take a walk with the kids
-plan a meal, cook it or clean up after it
-e-mail maintenance
-phone communication
-make/keep doctor appts
-read Bible/books

I don't feel like I'm going lose it. But I do feel like falling over.

I made a bunch of mistakes in the last week because I'm so exhausted and I can't think straight.
And I feel really terrible about them. It's like cosmically I know I'm forgiven, but I'm so tired I can't make a resolve to fix the mistakes.
It's different than the pregnancy "Stupids" because that was more like going around in oblivion. My thoughts now are clear, and clearly regretful.

And I've been meaning to say this following statement for years:
If you have gone to a spa recently, or are planning on going, etc-- *do not tell me about it.* It only makes me want to cry. I don't want to know what you do or how great it is, or how great you feel, because I'm horribly jealous and it makes me depressed.

I'm going to stare at this beluga whale for a while and see if that helps...


ro said...

no one wants to hear about the good fortune except the other person going to a spa. I'm sorry you are exhausted. Maybe when you get here you can rest. Just push 2 1/2 months!

pkillur said...

If it makes you feel any better, I bet that whale probably has a strange name, and it's diet is strictly sushi...