Too weird not to share

Massage therapy is everywhere in my life now:
I work for a chiropractor (part of my job is referring patients to M.T.'s)
One friend of mine is beginning her practice.
Another friend is about to begin M.T. school.
(don't worry this post gets better...)
Also, across the way from my office is a suspicious "healing center" with a back door entrance and an unlikely woman who has an all male clientele.

It's that mysterious office that reminded me of a good story:

On Sam's birthday last year, I decided that we were both in need of massage. (her b-day's in May right around exams.) My idea was spur of the moment, so I knew that the MT's I'm familiar with from my office would be booked already. So I instead called the closest place in the phone book, down the street from our house. The woman spoke almost no english, but to a cheapskate like me that meant *lower price!*
The office was on a big street in a nice part of town. We parked and walked up to the door and as we were entering, a man that looked like he would slip a pill in your beer at a frat party walked out. An asian woman dressed like Forever 21 clearance rack had us go back to our rooms through a dark hallway. (suspicion should have begun now)
I had just walked in my room when an asian girl in a stretchy white sparkly juniors dress comes in and says "forty dollar now!" They had told me 30 on the phone, but I gave her my credit card anyway because I didn't think she would understand me if I argued. She brought back the slip to sign and I think I signed it on the wall or the floor, definitely remember it being awkward. She seemed annoyed with me as soon as she came in the room, but then asians always seem annoyed with me. When I laid down on the table I noticed it didn't have a headpiece so your face can lie flat, it was just like a padded table (bad sign!). She gave me a mamby pamby shiatsu (thanks to Jenn for doing practice massages on me for class, otherwise I wouldn't know) and then traded with another woman halfway through. Both of them went so fast I felt like a shrimp on the griddle at Benihana's.
Did I mention the room was really dark and had a huge mirror in it? Yeah, it was, and it did.
Afterward Sam and I met outside and I think I said "that was weird...was your lady weird?" She concurred.
It wasn't until later that I convinced myself that was one odd massage place. Also when I told people my story who get massages all the time, they looked at me like i had gone to an opium den. Hell, maybe I did, it was so dark I couldn't see...oh I forgot-- and there was a shower in there, a dark shower...

That place across from where I work has the exact same vibe. Same type of woman who works there. I keep thinking "maybe in China, all massage therapists wear mini skirts."
Tipping off the authorities is out of the question. I'll have the Chinese pimpin' mafia to deal with, I'm sure.

Lesson learned: Don't get massages from strangers in tight clothes.