Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Explaination upon request.

I think it was Kevin who asked me to blog about the concept of the "tan sedan."
I developed this theory shortly after I moved to the [Silicon] Valley. It is as follows:
tan se·dan n.
1. Any beige, tan, biscuit, brownish, buff, coffee, drab, ecru, gold, khaki, sand, or tawny colored foreign 4-door vehicle, often driven by a non-caucasian person, that is exteremely dangerous and should be avoided on roads and parking lots at all times.
Note: Not all non-caucasians are dangerous drivers. Only when behind the wheel of a tan sedan are they hazardous to public safety.
See Fig. 1 and Fig 2 If you find your self with a view like Fig 2 in real life, get away as fast as you can. They show no mercy.

If you think I'm just making this up, just watch and you'll see I'm on to something. Especially if you live around here. When someone rides your butt-- tan sedan. When someone swerves into your lane-- tan sedan. No blinker?-- tan sedan!
I'm also not saying that there aren't other sterotypes that are bad drivers. Any of the manhood-compensator trucks, as I like to call them, are also bad. But I think they're bad on purpose. They usually seem like they have unresolved anger issues that manifest in tailgating and peeling out around little girls in honda civics like me. "Yes, I see. You're the bad-ass. Good for you."
And anyone who drives a Volvo is also to be feared. Volvos are famously safe, so I believe that people who buy them know that they are horrible drivers. Kevin reminded me of this when I wanted to get one. And I'll be honest, I fit in that category. I drive like a granma and my reflexes suck.
But I verily I say to you: beware of the tan sedan!

2 comments:

ro said...

LOL....awesome post...awesome! aaahhhhhhh....tan sedan....beware of East Richardson, because that is the only part of town where you will see tan sedans.

sister celtic said...

YEAH AND WHILE YOUR ROLLIN MAKE SURE NO WHITE T-SHIRT BEHIND THE WHEEL OF THE TAN SEDAN..I DON'T LIVE IN AMERICA SO WHEN I GO TO THE MAINLAND I'LL CAREFULLY NOTE THIS THANKS FOR THE HOT TIP!