I've blogged enough today to last all week

Are you like me and pester your spouse incesantly to get a tattoo but are frustrated at his/her persistant "no!"'s?
Well pester no further! You can make one convincing tattoo with your ink jet printer!
I'm so- excited! Thank you Texas Craft!

I'm doin' the meme, no one try n' stop me!

I got this from Rollerskater.I went through the first few and entertained myself with my own answers, so I'm goin' for it.
This is" What's the first thing that you think of when you hear ____?"
I edited out ones to which my answers even bored me.

2. Sex : ants**
3. Relationships : friend pressure
4. Your Last Ex : jackass (not the show either)
5: Power : Maleficent, the witch from Sleeping Beauty*
6. Marijuana: Dad
7. Crack : butt
8. Food: Fiesta Supermercado
10. War : "ho, what is it good for?"
11. Cars : Autopia @ Disneyland*
14. Politics : boring cartoons for not-funny-people**
15. Religion : beads
17. MySpace : i need to find more people! i have addiction to hunting!
18. Worst Fear: dark water
19. Marriage : fake silver plastic chrome chachskis
20. Fashion : Fashion Plates coloring paper dolls toy thing I had when I was a kid**
22. Redheads : fat girls***
23: Work : trabajo
24: Pass the time : pass the potatoes
24: Football : Super Bowl Evite
25. One night stands : stand up comedians
26: Pet Peeve : hearing people eat!!!!!
27: Pixie Stix : Tinkerbell*
28: Vanilla Ice : RL Turner High School
29: Porta Potties: when I unknowingly gave a bum money for a sexual favor in a Santa Cruz porta potty
35. Pictures : Hewlitt Packard

*I'm not a big Disney person, but somehow they have invaded my subconscious!
**proof that I am not a grown-up
***don't hate me!

I look about 45 years old in this photo. 'Must have been a rough night. I show it because baby C looks like she has a pick in her afro! :) 

I almost forgot Baby Tuesday!

Poor Dianne, baby C was all grumped up. But look how cute her outfit is. 

G-Money, Emmitt and the baby.  

I love this face 

speaking of Texas

Look what a fun list!
I was surprised by Ethan Hawke, Robyn Wright Penn and Patrick Swayze. Who knew?

Shrimp what?

I was driving around Richardson (TX) and was making my way back to Aurora's house (by way of Mimosa Dr.), saw this sign and took this photo:

"SHRIMP"
The windows were tinted black and it did not appear to be a restaurant. Even if it was, who would name his eatery "Shrimp"?
Could it be a suburban shrimp port, like a black market arthropodery?
I'm still mystified.
Richardson residents, you must get to the bottom of this!

For your listening pleasure...

surfjan stevens
sigur ros
broken social scene

I found it.
I like it.

its been a few days

So I'll pose some rhetorical haus frau questions, just y'all to chew on:

-Are there any non-frumpy ways to keep your feet warm at home, other than stylishly turning up the thermostat?
-What makes babies try to pick your nose incessantly while you're trying to type?
-Can they please stop playing Dire Straits on the radio?
-Why must Boppies be so dorky looking?
-What is it with cats and their demand for fresh water every 20 minutes? Forget it! I drink day old water all the time, cat.
-Can they make a healthier Girl Scout Cookie?

I'll add more as I think of them, you can too...

burning! burning hands!

I've cut up many a hot pepper in my days. I've even made the mistake of rubbing my eye or nose before washing the pepper off my hands and been tearfully sorry before. But last night I believe I actually burned myself with peppers. First I accidentally shoved a pepper seed underneath my thumbnail and the pain shot all the way up to my shoulder. I was so desperate that I opened the milk carton and stuck my thumb in. (note to would-be-guests, be warned of the spicy thumb milk!)
And then i proceeded to handle many peppers, then limes, then onions, then some salt, all with chapped hands.(from washing my hands so much with the baby).
As I serve dinner I notice my hands feel like they are on fire, as if I had stuck them in a pot of boiling water. It was insane. I tried rubbing oil on them and then washing them and then another milk dip. They are still burning, but luckily it's getting better.
Oh my gosh. I'm gonna wear surgical gloves next time!

listen carefully and you'll hear the little cries for help

I know it's vogue these days to do make-overs. Make over your living room, your husband, your struggling cabbage farm, whatever. But I've had a passion for making over people that began long before the reality TV craze. (I do love makeover shows, have I mentioned that? 'love 'em!)
I want to do it on my own, but I can't figure out how to do it.
Take a guy like this:

(yes this man really exists, I found him on MySpace.)
He needs help.
Big time.
I just know if I could get my hands on him I could be his Carson, Thom, Jai, Ted and Kyan all wrapped up in one straight girl.
But the problem is, a makover involves an initial insult. Like: "Hey, wow you're a total mess, let me help you, you lost sheep."
And people think they don't need help. Until they get it!! And then they get it.
And to top it off, I would do it for free. It would be like my own ministry to humanity.
Now the guy above is an extreme case. In fact, he's the most extreme case I have ever seen in my life. But I could help minor problems too.

So please, readers, uh...local readers. If you need help or know someone who does, email me! I will help for free!!
Here's a checklist:
Does your a) wife b) husband c) friend d) coworker e)self wear one or more of the following:
-oversized, outdated sweaters or sweatshirts?
-T-shirts that s/he received for free from a conference or event?
-socks with sandals?
-reeboks?
-keds?
-leggings?
-pleated pants?
-nothing but white tube socks?
-"arena rock" hair?
-high pants?
-bad bangs?
-holiday sweaters?
-a perm?

If you answered yes and you've already gotten over the shock of answering yes, then we need to talk.
Reach out to me!!
Because I can turn that guy into this:

Back by popular demand- I bring you Baby Tuesday

Alright, for now, I'll just stop using everyone names. It's a step towards annonymity.



From the photo shoot by my friend Natalie in Texas. The cousins in their matching bearsuits!!


She wasn't too happy about being all dressed up, so we went outside where she was happy for about 45 seconds. And let's not look at how I can gave myself a double chin, move along!


This is from the "Geddes" series. 'Makes me feel like we have a classy family.


Grandma Sue bought this outfit for her and it works great keeping her warm at night and cracks me up when I come and get her int he morning. "How did a little green bear get into this crib?"


This was her church ensemble. I thought it was photo worthy.

monday report

Good afternoon and thanks for joining us.
Today, we bring you news out of the South Bay...
(those lines are to be read with a a vision of me with anchorwman hair and a pantsuit)

Baby C (props to Preston) went to the doctor today, she's 15 lbs and "off the chart" literally for length. Unfortunately it seems to be in same fashion as my length- all torso, because her toes can't reach the carpet in her walker.
Yes, we bought a walker. And not just any walker, a really tacky walker. I'm talking dinosaurs, plastic doo hickies and bright bright crayon colors. It pained me to buy it. But I did take back the baby swing that she didn't like, so that took the edge off. She does seem to like the (4 mo's and up)walker even if her feet can't touch the ground yet.
I was told by her doctor that I need to eat more. Just as my pants are starting to fit without busting the seams, I'm supposed to graze more. The creamery needs to make their quaterly numbers or something. I promptly went to Boston Market on the way home, got me a chicken pot pie and a side of sweet potatoes. Go milk go!
The downside is that I'm post-Thanksgiving-tired now. Dangit! I got stuff to do...but so sleepy...and sneezy...(and probably a few more dwarves).
I asked about the crying too. She said to try to feed her or make her nap more. I said aye aye! Here's hopin.'

how busy could I really be, right?

Well bottom line: the baby doesn't nap as much as she used to. Ergo, I have to carry her around more (apx. 75% of the day), lest she errupt in tears. And she doesn't much care for sitting and watching me type. (She does hoewever enjoy raking and vacuuming while being carried)
And in other blog business news, I may be altering Baby Tuesdays in the future. I'm sad to say it but evil people spoil everything, inluding my blog. Nothing has happened yet but I've come to the conlusion that I should be a tad more confidential for the safety of all. Details later, when I figure out what the heck I'm gonna do.

In the meantime, meditate on how cool this kitchen is and that it could soon be ours...

another stranger-no-more!

We met Daniel and Leigh while in Texas last week. We La Finca'd!


This photo taken by a less than willing waitperson.
My favorite quote of the night came from Daniel's daughter.
"I haven't had ice cream since...since November!"


Flaming cheese! 'Sorry it flashed and the glory that was a flaming pan of cheese and meat was diminished.

Baby Tuesday...er Wednesday

My apologies that this Baby Tuesday is late! We traveled all yesterday and when I finally got home all I wanted to do was eat and sleep.
It's Wednesday and honestly I still just want to eat and sleep, but I got myself a baby to carry around and bags to unpack.


My Aunt Norma agreed to wear the baby pouch. :) (Kevin and I stopped by their near-Austin home on our way back from Jenn's Houston wedding)


Random pic. Cricket's wiggling in our spare sheets, I dunno, kinda' looked aquatic.


A fleeting moment of peace at the wedding reception. She barely made it through 10 minutes of the ceremony and then the reception was disasterous in regards to her crying.
But look how cute she looks!


You would have thought this duck was Big Bird himself because Cricket loved him! (He sang and jumped around when my mom pushed his wing) I can sense annoying toys in my future...


The bumbo rides again!

one more person that doesn't just exist in cyberspace

We met Rollerskater today!
Okay Allison had already met her.
This was not the only photograph taken by a total stranger. We were also the stars of Dallas Morning News photo shoot of Cafe Express.
I know you're jealous. ;)

Baby Tuesday

This week's Baby Tuesday pics are coming to you from the lone star state. Enjoy!


I was told they didn't make this kind of thing anymore. But I gues they've improved it to make it safer than it was? I dunno. But Cricket loves it. Video of her hoppin around in it to come.


You're right, that's a terrier, not a baby. This is our diapering station at home and Franklin considers all soft things lying on the floor a potential bed for him. Empty fuzzy onesies apparently qualify.


Is it me, or does Cricket look like a 4 year old ballerina in this photo? We called this her prep school ensemble.


The grandparents. A year ago, they had no grandkids at all, now they've got two.

I had a dog he had a name and Bingo was his name-o

After my birthday party last night (which was so fun!, thanks to everyone for coming!!) we drove up to the Plano Bingo parlor. Now, you may associate the word "parlor" with finery and grace, but thankfully this establishment had none of that. It was strictly all business, no frills bingo action. Participants are encouraged to bring their own food and booze, although snacks involving cheese from gallon cans and dispensed from boxes stating "great for schools and daycares" are sold for those caught unprepared for the long haul of 10 rounds of bingo. Ink daubers, critical to the game and mandated by the state of Texas, are also offered next to the Slim Jims and microwaved popcorn.
Some things defied my expectations:
The man who seemed to run the place was a very normal man with an northern accent like a cross between JFK and Mike Ditka.
The elderly were not the majority.
One row of dots is not enough to make a bingo. Two lines is the minimum.
The entire operation of Bingo gaming is state regulated.


Birthday festivities courtesy of Plano Bingo.


Look how many people play bingo!



At 10pm other places close their doors, but at Plano Bingo, it's when the fun begins.



Smoking mullet, hot dog, stryofoam cup, can you feel the energy?


I call this compostion: "Bingo Still Life."


By day, Carrie Christy is a mild mannered SMU law student, but at night, she's a bingo-daubin-fool.

Whataburger, Blue Bell, and more than one country station

I arrived thursday evening here in Big D after a day of flying with a colicky 4 month old baby. My fears were indeed confirmed, she screamed.
And screamed.
I fed her.
She screamed.
I changed her diaper.
More screaming.
I had bought earplugs for everyone near me, but most people had their headphones on and wouldn't make eye contact with me anyway.

I had planned on feeding her pumped milk on the plane so I wouldn't have to do boobie-business in front of strangers.
But in addition to my toothbrush I had forgotten that milk in the fridge at home!
Draped or not, to say it was a challenge would be an understatement.
She's not easy to feed in my living room. Add a few thousand feet of altitude and the noise of NY subway station, and you got yourself a problem.

I teared up, I did. I almost lost it when the flight attendant had to come over to help me. She rubbed Cricket's forehead for seemingly forever until she finally fell asleep. I got about 15 minutes of peace before we had to make our descent and I was required to sit her up and consequently wake her to secure her on my lap.
The second leg of the flight, thank heavens, she was a little sleepier and it was easier for me to stand up with her so she could look around. Don't get me wrong, she still cried on that last leg but it wasn't like an ambulance siren, so I was grateful.
However, I was surronded by men in all directions. I'm a nursing mom and even I don't think I would want someone rubbing elbows with me while feeding her baby. I imagine that sentiment is multiplied ten fold if you're a business man.
I kept trying to think of things to be grateful for:
"at least I'm not sick..."
"at least she's not sick..."
"I didn't miss my second flight, that's good..."
"the plane didn't crash, also good..."
"your life is otherwise amazingly wonderful, Jesus loves you and everything else is fine, so if this is the worst thing right now, you're still ahead..."
Of course, when she and I exited the plane, she was dandy. You would have thought flight attendants were rumored in the baby world to give shots and rudely take your temperature, the way she acted.

Anyway, we're here. And Cricket's napping right now. :)

My birthday party is tonight. I didn't keep track of who's coming so it's almost like a surprise party. I think there's also a possibility of presents which is fun, I don't care how old you are.

I'll be here for about 2 weeks if any of you mysterious blogging Texans want to meet me. ;)

In case I ever have more money than I know what to do with

I was browsing how much homes sell for in Venice, Italy.
They aren't cheap.
But jinkies, Lord Byron's 16th Century villa is for sale, how cool is that?

yeppers, I bought it

Not like I need another half-read book, or like I'll have a spare moment on the plane on Thursday.

Baby Tuesday

One video of Cricket eating her bouncer.


more of this bear costume later...


Again with the dual chair and snack bar.


I swear everyone was happy before this photo was taken.

Is $9.95 too little for a spell check?

Ahem, Isaiah maybe?
I bought a clip art CD from Fry's the other day while shopping for something else. I've needed a reserve of clip art/stock photos for a while now, since I do a little graphic design on the side and I don't have Microsoft Office.
I chose a disc called "Christian Clip Art" CD, knowing that it would likely contain many lame Ned Flander-y images, but I am a Christian after all, so I bought it.
I opened it up today, also noticing that it comes with it's own litte weird program that needs to be installed to view the files and that it's sponsored in some way by NetZero.
Oh but wait, there's more.
I played along and installed the viewing program and then I find out the images have a WMF file extension. When I tried to open an image in photoshop, I called it the "Where's My File" extension because it wasn't recognized. I had to clipboard it, and then save as a JPEG. (ok, it's Windows Metafile)
There are more photos of bunnies and gravestones than any other image on the disc.
And of course, the above "Isiah" image to ice the cake.

Lesson learned: $9.95 apparently is too good to be true when it comes to graphics.