Friday, May 30, 2008

you've all been waiting for it

Yeah this last week has been burnout week.

Motivation is at an all time low.

Tonight I have dozens of things to do (including pay the bills!), but all I can manage to do is sit on my bed with two snoring dogs and blog about what I'm not doing.

I think I have plenty of reasons:

-As I said before, the conference was anticlimactic.
I designed and designed and designed, and while everything looked great, it hit home that no matter how hard I work to make all the fonts match, people can remain unmotivated and disinterested in community compassion. I don't know that they were unmotivated, but I'm a "feeler" and I felt that way. I'm also terribly cynical.

-Our creative church planning team has been disbanded.
Even though it's supposed to be temporary, I am again a cynical-feeler.
And a little bird told me that the reality is that there is *another* team that is replacing us.
I'm depressed about it.
I felt like I got the "I want to date other people" line.
And I can't help but irrationally blame myself for it. I made a design for the next series that I submitted with a certain amount of artistic reservation. Then it got ripped in the CML, and it was too late to take it back and re-do it.
The strangest twist to it, is that I'm pretty sure I'm still being hired by the church for 15 hours of work, designing I'm assuming. So my conclusion is that other people will be making the larger creative decisions now, and I'll just have to illustrate it(?).
Depressing.

-I failed at potty training Baby C (see post below)

-Rich's leukemia is back and could possibly be lymphoma. :<
(but it's not in the bone marrow! hooray! :) )

-Aurora's gonna put Pudge down!

-And finally, I have a slight cold. And I'm being a gigantic wuss about it, but it doesn't make me want to do anything but stare at the ceiling.

2 comments:

sister celtic said...

Well sister we will be praying for you and the family. Thankyou for posting and we live and learn alot... Geo & I have been at wits end many of times and when the Good Book says we get knocked down but stand up again, we do not by our own might but HIS... I didn't realize that Baby C was still Baby C and it's just fine that she's not potty trained, I was quite fortunate with Boys to have them both done at 18 months although one wet the bed at night til 8 years old. So try getting pampers on a kid at night...Major washing every day..Geo wet til he was 10 and so did your mom..Just chill pretty maama!

ro said...

I understand how days can combine into a bad week that seems to snowball. It is ok to feel sad. We've been bummed at my house too about everything. I guess that is why your site is called Pull It Together. Have Kevin watch the kids one night and go do something lavish like a movie with the girls. NO Helping others! Just be selfish :)