So great! And if any of you thinks I won't put my little girl in it-- watch me! (Couture by Baby Gap) 

see last title

Sonogram day results.....GIRL!

for all those who like babies and baby updates

(I'll be honest, if it wasn't my body involved, I wouldn't fit into the category described in this title)
I've got kicks, lots of kicks. Especially when I have bad posture or eat too much sugar. It's like, hey, who's the mom here? I'm supposed to tell *you* what you're doing wrong!

cingular- spell check- singular

So I downloaded my first ringtone for my phone. As I expected, the whole thing was caca.
The last phone I had was too ancient to download ringtones, though I wanted them so badly! Now I have a new pretty phone which actually came with some good ones. But of course, as any young American would, I got tired of them so I wanted something different. I had tried once before do download one (Don't Fear the Reaper, of all things, I don't know what I was thinking, I might have been influenced by the cowbell) but it never came to my phone and I wasn't charged, so I just called it a draw.
But then I was inspred to get a "ringback tone" by one of our patients. Whenever I call her cell phone it plays a Beyonce song, like the real song. I like it, because instead of hearing "ring ring" you hear a song. So I came home, and to Kevin's disappointment I searched to see if I could get one too. (he's probably shaking his head at this whole post.) I found that only Verizon offers it, unless you live in Finland or China.
So then I was re-inspired to get a good ringtone. But cellular politics dealt me a dirty hand! Cingular bought AT&T, which I was part of, so now we ex-AT&Ters are Cingular's stepchildren. There was such a good ring on their website that I wanted-- but I couldn't have it because I was the bastard daughter of their mega-merger-of-passion. Instead I got a little window that says, push these buttons on your phone and you can download from the menu that pops up. I was hesitant, but I had already invested wasted time in this adventure so I thought I'd keep walking down the dark path. It took forever to do it on my phone, and you can't listen to them, you just have to buy and then hear it. I should have stopped there, but it was called "Charlie," how bad could it be?
Yeah, not good. It's like one the Sopranos going "Charlie, Chucky-boy my man."
I'm not a man.
:/

So that'll teach me...for a while. :)

Most interesting thing to happen to tennis since...since nothing! Tennis sucks. Buffalos rule! 

I call it the "stupids"

It's a condition of temporary stupidity that happens when you're pregnant. And by you, I mean me.
This is more of announcement that the is-it-a-boy-or-a-girl-ultrasound won't be until Friday, not Thursday as I had previously thought. Apparently though my appointment truly is on Thursday their technician is only in the office two days a week, namely Monday and Friday. Anyway, they had told me this but I forgot. I got it all straight this morning.
I have to confess that I'm not looking forward to the doctor visit because most of the time when I call I get Skipper on the other end of the line. It's hard to trust Skipper in matters of my unborn child. It kinda makes me want to ask if her mom is at home. But then I think, "Do I sound like a dingbat when I answer the phone at my job?" I am required to be peppy-- no, I can't be that bad.
And in a mostly unrelated way, I have signed us up for happy vegetable club. Okay, it's called Mariquita Farms (not to be confused with marguarita farms, which i guess would just grow limes and cactus). It's neat, and I'm gonna try cooking with stuff like nettles, which Kevin says aren't worth a turd to cook with. Challenge!

Muchos Gracias Marie Callender!

My best no-nonsense food quote this pregnancy:

"I'm here for pie."

(what I told the hostess on our late night pie run to Marie Callender's last night. And oh ye-ah, we got pie!)

who wants a fridge?

craigslist take it away

you know you want it. c'mon, look at it, we're practically giving it away. Sears can't even touch that price.

(oh please someone buy it!!!!)

Franklin just made himself comfy on Andrew's lap. He just wants a lap...and a foot I guess. 

mojito and the subsequent lick-attack. sorry Peter. 

check out the cute hanging lanterns! thank you Cost Plus! 

yep blurry, but you can tell that we ate on the floor...this was after dinner when I let the dogs roam free. 

Bete'avon Passover!

Passover was a success! I can be a super hostess if I have all day to prepare. :)
I moved a bunch of stuff around to make the dining room party-appropriate and I cooked my tukis off. I told my friends who came it felt like a holy thanksgiving-- so many things to keep track of, so many dishes!
Sorry the photos are a bit blurry, I didn't want a flash in some but I didn't want to make everyone stop and hold a pose. You can get the feel from them, I'm sure.

it's a pattern

Today was the second day in two weeks that I have filled the spare moments of my work day with writing a post by hand, and then when I get home, I don't want to type it out into a real post. It feels like a rehash, even though I'm the only one that's read it. There were some points of interest...
-it's really hard to stay awake in an office designed to soothe. The low lighting, smooth jazz, gentle breeze from an open window, 75 degrees, with a full stomach doing quiet clerical work.
-My car which rarely ever has problems, dealt me a one-two-punch today. It hurt, big bill, it hurt bad.
-Baby products are a friggin racket! I finally understand why baby superstores exist--- because you need 3 different carseats! Buncha crap. You can buy one converts like a 3 in 1, but it costs the same as three separate ones so I don't see the savings.
It's the kind of thing that makes me want to trim other baby products and/or question their necessity. Like, do I really need a baby tub? Probably not.
In fact, I've already started noticing silly products that people don't need (and only add to the kid-insanity in their life). Here's a few:
tacky!
cold day in Hell
this would make me run away

I also really despise little tykes plastic outdoor things that litter people's yards and get all nasty and spidery, like cheap slides and playhouses. However, I have found one exception: c'mon that's funny

ze frenchie

I just turned on the Eukanuba Dog Show and Ozzy the french bulldog won his category! Yay! Take that poodle!
kinda looked like this

the butt-sniffin out-take 

I had to do it...lei, boston terrier, too cute. 

An exemplary pile
courtesy of a Mr. Bill Walker 

Pile Diving!

It's "pile week" in Santa Clara. Or as it's officially called by the city "Annual Clean-Up Campaign."
We've been saving up all our crap for a whole year for this big event! We had all kinds of stuff crammed on the side of our house: old mattress, stryofoam, palets, cardboard, nothing really all that great for people to pilage. However, other homes throw out little jewels and the rest of the city prowls around to snatch them up before the next mexi-van comes by.
It makes me feel more in touch with the community this weekend before the piles are carted away. Half the city is driving slowly through the neighborhoods scouting out what people are tossing away. Kevin and I were no exception! We walked the dogs yesterday and got some good pieces of wood to make a new crawlspace cover (yes random) and on the way back there was a lovely little coffee table that I thouught had already been gobbled up by a sinister tan Saturn earlier that day. But no! It was still there! So I sat on it while kevin took back the dogs (and the wood) and then came back for me and the table. I didn't care that I looked like a weirdo sitting on a coffee table in the street (especially since the people who threw it out were in their front yard), that was my table!
This morning after church we joined the tour-of-curbs once again. I was embarrassed to swipe yet another table (a side table that matched the one from the day before!) while the people were watching from their garage. But it's ours now!

an "Emily" post

I came upon Etiqutte Hell while browsing to see if, in this barren land of rudeness known as California, any kid's manners classes are offered.
(I know, it'll be like 10 years before I have a child old enough! I was just looking)
I had hoped it would be funnier, but it's just a collection of stories people tell, I'd say gossip stories, about tacky people. However, if you click on "Holiday Hell" the first story is pretty funny. And while I can tell similiar stories about my family, this one is nice and condensed, chock full of uncomfortable moments and dysfunctional people.

Here's another good exerpt that struck a chord:
".. .my husband's oldest sister called to inform us that she was making a quilt for the baby...it came up that not only was she making a quilt, but a set of fitted sheets, a bumper pad, a diaper holder, a changing table cover, wall hangings AND a diaper bag, and wanted to know if there were any windows in the nursery so that she could make curtains, too...She just assumed it was okay for her to do this, and our job was to simply be grateful that she was taking it upon herself to decorate our baby's room. SHE had decided on a Noah's Ark theme, and was very enthusiastic about how adorable it was...It also didn't matter that Noah's Ark is the one nursery scheme that I absolutely loathe. I know a lot of people think the animals and the boat are cute and all, and I do see why, but personally, I just see it as the greatest natural disaster in the history of mankind, and have no interest in decorating my child's room with it."

I hence count my blessings.


p.s. I submitted a story for the site, namely the time that Kevin's parents said they didn't like my name! The lack of comments spurred me to take the story to the next level.

Can't hide it!

So I'm big enough for even old men to notice I'm "with bun", namely those that I come in contact with at work. That creeps me out. I wish I could wear something *really* distracting so people wouldn't know my business.

In art terms:
I'm beginning to feel like this .

I did not wear that much spandex. 

I yoga'd

I had never done yoga before, because it seemed a little too one-with-the-earth, but since it's supposed to be good for birthin' babies, I bought a preggy yoga tape and did it this morning. I felt really silly, especially because Kevin was in the same room for some of it, but they're right when they say it helps your conentration becuase you fall over if you laugh. Of course the woman used as the example person was like human origami, and I was not. It appeals to my love of not wearing shoes and not moving too much, heh, so I give the yoga a thumbs up.
Now to the chores!

challenge!

This is the layout for wall one of the baby's room, tentatively.I know, I know, I'm crazy. But I can't help but push myself, I'm a painter for goodness sake, I can't just do clouds and flowers!(ignore the equations, those are nixed) 

sport quote

Kevin (and sometimes I) like to watch MLS soccer.
The commentators were interviewing the owner of the San Jose Earthquakes during the game...
commentator: "You sound so corporate.
owner: "Really? I'm not wearing underwear."

"waterloo, promise to love you for ever more"

I work in an office that has mandatory easy-listening music. This means the local play-the-same-20-songs-over-and-over station, that you never liked to begin with, or the same 5 CDs on rotation for 8 hours at a time. So I think I'm now an expert on bad artists and especially bad lyrics. I have created a short list, with examples, of artists who unashamedly write bad lyric-songs (and torture me 4 days a week):
In no particular order
-Seal. --ex. "Baby, I have compare you to a kiss from a rose on a grey"
-Five for Fighting. --ex. "I’m more than a plane, more than some pretty face beside a train"
-Abba. --as if I needed an ex. "Mamma mia, here I go again" (and they made a musical from them! what am I saying? musicals have stupid lyrics too)
-Bush. --ex. "If I treated you bad, you bruise my face...glycerine"
-No Doubt. --ex. "Sorry I'm not home right now, I'm walking into spiderwebs"
-Nickelback. --ex. "These five words in my head scream "Are we having fun yet?"
-Shania Twain. --ex. "Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!"
-Avil Lavigne. --ex. "I like you the way you are, when we're drivin' in your car"
-Madonna. --ex. "Zephyr in the sky at night I wonder, do my tears of mourning sink beneath the sun"

To prove my belief that only dumb people request these songs and put them on the top 20 list/station I have a quote from Top 20 website...
"I like that Arvil song "Complicated" good stuff on this chart I gonna be adult soon so I hope that song still on No.1 till that time"

Yeah.

CBEST in show

I took the CBEST test this morning, the California Basic Education Skills Test to those of you outside the backasswards world of California education. It's the test graduates take to qualify their two year credentialing program, or as I call it, throwing-more-money-down-the-state-tube-program. And since I'm not planning on spending more than my car is worth on more schooling at this juncture, it also happens to be the test I need to take to substitute teach.
It was pretty dang easy, as I expected. Easier than the ACT test I took when I was in high school. I think that means I was over-qualified to have subbed my own classes. It scares me that I've heard of people failing the test 3 times in a row. How did they get out of college? Is that what happens when you're a liberal arts major?
Another glaring contrast to the standardized tests of high school, was how strict the "proctors" were. Here are some examples:
1) We were not allowed within 30 feet of the testing rooms until 5 minutes before the test began. What, were we gonna plant cherry bombs in the trash cans?
2) No water allowed in the classroom. If you need to drink water during the 4 hours of the test, you have to bring a bottle in, but leave it next to the door. Then you must raise your hand, wait for the test-warden to come over and give you an orange piece of paper that allows you to get up out of your desk, pick up your water, walk outside the classroom and drink it there. Same also for pee breaks, but hopefully the person would go further than just outside the door. As the 50 year old woman behind me said "we're not children."
3) No cell phones or calculators, if you have one, you have to take it up to the front of the room, and mark it with our ID #. If caught with one on your person, your test is void.
4) State issued photo ID required. It had to be on the desk at all times and when the proctor came around to check us in, she said "you have to make the same face you're making in the photo" and we all thought she was kidding (this would've been her only joke) but she wasn't. She really made us make the face. Good thing I make the same bad smile when prompted by any government official. Oh and out of a whole room of international students, the only one the woman couldn't say was mine, Thayer. What's with that?
I did learn some interesting things from the reading selections that they provided for reading comprehension questions. Like to catch a hoop snake , you wait for it to go towards a wooden fence. Then feed it one hardboiled egg, and once it's head is thru the fence pickets, feed it another one and it'll be stuck. How bout that?
There were also two articles about Rachel Carson, the marine biologist heroine of early American ecology. Go Rachel, you matter.

okay one more thing

I found this pregnancy food guide article of genius on MSN:

"Treat yourself to something sweet on occasion
Processed foods, packaged snacks, and sugar-loaded desserts shouldn't be the mainstay of your diet, but you don't have to give up all your favorite goodies just because you're pregnant. Some smart -- and tasty -- snack ideas: Try a banana smoothie, a frozen all-fruit nonfat sorbet, or yogurt-covered pretzels and trail mix. However, don't beat yourself up if you cave in to temptation -- the occasional cookie or piece of cake won't hurt you or your baby. For more ideas, read about healthy fixes for junk food cravings. "

Um yeah thanks! I was really worried that a ho ho might harm my unborn child, idiots. Oh and uh huh, when I want chocolate cake, I'll just reach for that trail mix, that'll hit the spot, won't it? Who wrote that crap?

signed,
she who eats betty crocker frosting by the spoonful out of the can

capybara butt! thank you google. 

sooner or later, it was bound to be in a post

The capybara is my favorite animal. I would have one as a pet if it was legal, and I had a spare swamp. Llamas come a close second, I know that may come as a shock to some. They are indeed the world's largest rodent, and if that isn't enough to please ya, they "[look] rather like a cross between a Guinea-pig and a Hippopotamus." Does it get anymore funny than that?
I was spurred to post about them from tonight's Thayer encounter. The Thayers, being botantically inclined people needed to know what kind of tree was growing in someone's yard a few blocks away. So they investigated (I'll save you the entertaining morsels of how they went about it, because I think it would embarrass Kevin) and found out it was a Catalpa tree. And to be difficult I said "a capybara tree?" no a catalpa "capybara?" with the intent of confusing Kevin into forgetting. It worked until his mom ruined my game and reminded him on the way home-- no fun. Okay I know you're curious here's the tree
I know what you're thinking: Capybaras are way better than Catalpas. I completely agree.

My blog name couldn't fit more today

This morning I think I may have gotten my first professional mural job. I painted a palm tree in our office, per request, and this morning one of our pregnant patients asked who did it. I said that I did and it went on logically from there. Stupid me didn't have my business cards with me, but I wrote my info an a bright orange piece of paper, heh. She asked me to bring her more cards so she can give them to her friends. Hooray for that too! I'm getting the same self doubt that i did before Easter , like I don't know what I'm doing. But I do, I guess. I like working with a net that's all.
In the meantime, I keep tweaking my friend's business cards, but I gotta frickin' finish them soon, I think she needs them on saturday! (they do look cute though, Jenn!)
And now I have to go back to work for session two of our "big meeting" about the future of the office. Arg. Me no likey. Aren't I just "desk girl," why am I suddenly required to make a business plan...more later gotta drive back to the mine...

sad

A guy that I went to jr. high and high school with died recently and there was no record of it, when I searched on Google. That made me sad for him.
And although this won't come up on Google either, I feel the need to dedicate today's post to him:
Justin Herriage 1981-2005

alright, let me explain the phenomenon

moun·tain wom·an, n.
1) Any woman who of her own volition lives in the Santa Cruz Mountains, whose make-up to flannel ratio is 0:5, has been wronged by any man but especially "the man" and is consequently embittered towards society and non-mountain women.(fig a.)
2) Menopausal woman with free time and money that become self-proclaimed artists (with little skill and alot of opinion) who fill up rosters at local college art classes, wear flowy clothing/bad jeans and handmade jewelry.(fig b.)

This group of women is not unique to the Bay Area but I must say this is a hot bed for these people. You will find them at local craft fairs, farmer's markets, gay rights rallys, and liberal bookstores. They often travel in groups for safety, lunching together and complaining about Christians.

This made my day!

According to "Good Eats":
The world’s largest doughnut, made on July 9, 1978
in Richardson Texas, weighed about 74 pounds.

Woooooo - hooooo!!

Go Richardson! Yay!