Funny traffic quote

Painted on a work truck passing me in the right lane, it read, "American Drilling- Your hole is our goal"

Crass? I think so. Funny? I also think so.

peer pressure!

So I got my own myspace dealie. Not because I wanted my own page but because I wanted to click on my friend's stuff and it wouldn't let me. But in case you want to see mypage g'head.

Lacy is the souce of all memes

(this came from her blog, I took a few categories out because I ran out of clever things to say)

20 years ago I... (1985)
1. was still living on Oxford Dr., behind the old promanade theater that is no more, where I got my life's only real beating, by the neighbor's gradnson in plastic knight-armor.
2. crawled under my bed and got my hair stuck, but was too afraid to call for help so I ripped a bunch of it out to set me free.
3. feared our baby sitter, though she made good tuna salad and had us wear sparkly bibs for snacks.

10 years ago I... (1995)
1. was just beginning to form my own style, which no one else liked but me.
2. It was the last year my hair was in it's natural state.
3. visited a marijuna/heroin/bunny farm with my dad. Good times with Phil.

5 years ago I... (2000)
1. Moved to CA and shared a 2bedroom/1bathroom apartment with 6 other men.
2. Could not have had a worse boyfriend.
3. Started attending Graceland church in Santa Cruz.

1 year ago I... (2004)
1. Graduated from San Jose State
2. Got engaged and married.
3. Bought a house by proxy, with Kevin.

Last week I...
1. Was inducted into the creative group at church with older smarter people.
2. Picked out pretty plants to go along our picket fence.
3. Stressed over my easter performance, see blog entry.

Today I...
1. Went to work with wet hair once again.
2. Did most of this meme at work with a pencil and scratch paper
3. Can't stop eating Kevin's jellybeans, even though they make me sick (chew chew chew)

Tomorrow I will...
1. Go to the intimidating creative group meeting.
2. Wait for the plumber for the 4th time in 2 weeks.
3. Go to Bible Study

In the next year I will...
1. birth a baby (God willing).
2. Quit my job that I've had since 2001.
3. Enjoy a second toilet in our house! (we're having another bathroom built!)

Hmm, that was a dumb one to end on...oh well.

Similar yes? Kevin on honeymoon 

Mike on honeymoon 

mike y stephanie's viaje a mexico

photos from my friends' honeymoon

things my nightmares are made of

I thought I'd share a few images I spend my waking moments preventing from coming true.

Umm, confused, but still fearful. 

doesn't this woman seem too old to give birth? This is my fear of looking frumpy/old. 

This is number one in my mind. Mark my words, this will not be me. 

itty bitty post

Thank you all who have already commented. :)
Yes, the painting went well, very well actually. I made lots of people cry and many others were impressed at how fast I did it.
I kinda "hid out" because I'm so bad at taking compliments. (these weren't just 'good job!' compliments, they were like heartfelt long ones, I didn't know what to say!)
If I can figure out how to do it, when I get a tape of it, I will try to put a link on my blog so you guys can watch it.

Happy Easter!

In honor of the most important holiday of the year, and also since I have installed a counter on my blog, I have decided to allow free commenting for all for today and tomorrow.
So to all of those who visit my blog (which is so nice of you!) You should comment/say-howdy on this post, even if it's a dumb comment.
you know you want to!

This is what I'm doing today, making test paintings for tomorrow. Here's the first one. (I'm painting live during easter services tomorrow-- pressure! I have to do four and each time i have to do it in under 4 minutes, it's like my own reality show) 

yay! makes me happy!

In addition to Duvall from the Smoking Popes, mr korn bass player guy, the lead guy from Superdrag, John Davis, has committed his life to Christ too! Hooray!

again, thanks to Bennett

if you've ever been in a 'small group', you'll think this is funny.
The clips at the bottom are pretty funny too. Like it says, they made them to show what people's preconceived ideas about Jesus are. (although I think it becomes more like Mystery Science Theater 3000 digs up an incredibly cheezy jesus-movie)

food processing

I left work at about fifteen past food-time, had to run an errand, and was soon becoming quite a hungry hippo in need of some white marbles.
Carl's Jr was all around me, everywhere I drove! Tempting me with fries and splendidly greasy burgers! But I resisted for the usual reasons: I don't need to spend that money and I shouldn't eat that kind of food. Why should I not eat that food? Fries have no nutritional value, neither do buns or condiments. Really all I'm getting is protein and empty carbs. (stick with me this isn't a rant about fast food)
So I come home and what do I make myself for lunch? Pasta with sausage! It felt more fancy because it was pesto and italian sausage with bow-ties, but it was basicaly the same bricks in the food pyramid.
*shaking head* Good thing I'm taking vitamins....it's pie time!

Important: please note.

This does *not* make me a navy stroller, leggings with reeboks, performance fleece mommy that take her babies to Gymboree. Ok, whew, there I feel better.

see post for explanation 

ok, clearly a gamble

I was at Mervyns today, trying to find maternity clothes that *don't* make me look like a cow, and I happened upon the baby clothes section. Everything was 40% off in the store, mind you. So I found a couple of gender neutral items (fish, cowboys, ok they were boys clothes but cute enough for a girl) and then I saw the polka dot dress. Obviously, not gender neutral. But I had to get it, because of my obession with polka dots and the weirdness of the green bows. So I have 90 days to return it. (I don't want to have to return it!)

healthcare, grrr

Achtung: Not an interesting post.

I would like to shout it from the mountain tops that healthcare is poop. I wanted to find an obstrician that:
1. A woman/mother
2. Practices by herself (not part of a doctor pool)

That's it, that's all I wanted. Okay, I didn't want to drive out of state either.
But it's impossible.
I settled for an office of two doctors , gee I hope it goes well.

Healthcare is also poop for other reasons, namely the insurance industry. I won't go into that. Just know it's bad.

tract side 

calendar sides 

I owe everyone a quality post.

And this time it will be a "nice" post. Meaning not laden with complaining or whining.
Since a few of my friends are sad now, I was spurred to tell a nice story, so here goes. (for dramtic effect, I sometimes call this my miracle story, haha):
One afternoon when I was living in Santa Cruz, I had been walking along West Cliff (road that goes along the shore) and I had stopped to watch the kelp, ahem I mean, the ocean. And as I was staring out, this little old man walks up to me out of nowhere and hands me two tracts (for those who don't speak christian-lingo, tracts are like God's summary cards-- you'll see it in the photos), and he says "It's all going to be alright," and walks away. I looked down at the tracts and at first I didn't think anthing more than oh what a funny old man, these tracts are really old but that was nice of him.
Please note, it wasn't the lowest day of my life, but I wasn't really living my life how God would want it, He wasn't the center. In general, I did need to be reminded that He is in control of everything.
But here's the cool part, I looked at the tracts again and the older one was the year I was born 1981, and the other one was the year I gave my life to Christ 1990 (or you could say, was reborn). How awesome is that?

See, nice story. One of my favorites.

why is good stuff expensive?

can't I be cheap and cool?

me like .wav files

In honor of my search of funny wav files, I have updated my profile with a really nice one. :D Please visit and see if you can guess what movie it's from.

I would also like to add some more sound
files for your listening pleasure

it's funny, please don't think I'm serious

I mean well, I am seriously gonna use this place for diaper service, but otherwise it's all humor...poop triangle! snappy clips!

Optimistic

If I must

(Yeah yeah, it does seem like a pain in the butt. But cloth's better for everything and everyone involved (except me))

This is also my plan

Yeah buddy-- before they can walk! Doin that!

Let's hear it for the snack cakes!

*pointer fingers in the air!*
I've been inspired to pay homage to the Le Petite Debrette herself (well and 'the man' that makes her delightful confections).
Let's do a top five, shall we?

5. Zebra Cakes

4. Star Crunch

3. Oatmeal Creme Pies (apparenly these are considered "cookies." that's a big frickin cookie)

2. Apple Flips (again a cookie? I think not.)

And the real reason I was inspired by Little Debbie, her finest creation, that I admit, I fantasized about just yesterday at work....

1. Fudge Brownies!

Alright, I know you're all thinking it: They're so--- bad for you. I'm pretty sure no ingredient involved has any redemable quality. And although, with the exception of the fudge brownies :) , I haven't eaten one since I was a kid, we cannot forget these little gems! Long live the snack cake!

Other points of interest:

weird

and weirder!!

I promised to tell the world...

Kevin's never heard of Little Debbie!!!!

He's almost 28 years old andI know he has been to a quickie mart at least once in his life.
I still can't believe it.
Man, his parents really did raise him on healthy food, and I guess there wasn't any trading going on at school lunches.
This all started when a Little Debbie commercial came on TV and I said "Hey look, the little debbie logo and the budweiser logo are the same." It was then he revealed his shetered youth!

%@#*&! Dog puke!

My little brown half-breed will apparently eat anything he finds just so he can puke it up again. He makes sure to be on the carpet when he does it. He also waits until I'm done dry heaving and mopping up who-knows-what to puke again and again! Aaaa!
Grass? yes. Composting vegetables? of course. Random trash? why not?
Oh so gross! And it's almost the same with his other end. Thankfully not as often, because it's worse.
Franklin, thankfully, has a sturdier GI tract or at least the sense not to consider putrid found objects as lucky snacks.
He's now in solitary confinement, the crate, for everyone's good (except his). I hope he doesn't barf on the grandparents tonight. Gah!

Why not post two? I hope you can read this. This was from Kevin's mom on Valentines Day. It's on the fridge, it makes me smile everytime. 

Upon request, here's our new fabulous dishwasher. Sitting in today for Barker's Beauties are my boys. Look how hard Franklin is trying to stay! haha.

I love Kevin!

That's right, I'm a big cheese head! But Kevin's sick today, and so am I. But I'm saying he's more sick because he had the pukeys last night. Poor baby. And now he's trying to clean and he just loaded our new dishwasher* and brought me a cupcake! What a lamb!


*Our dishwasher is a nifty portable avacado green model from circa 1970. It's a real gem. It only cost us 50 bucks and it rolls and hooks up to our sink**. Hooray!

**That's right sink. Why? Because apparently for the last 50 years the previous inhabitants of this house either were anorexic or ate lots of chinese take out because our kitchen only came with a sink and a faucet. How could people live like that?

groan!

Okay people, listen up. Men and women, all can benefit. People don't tell you how miserable it is to be to be pregnant. (the people who tell you it's beautiful must be androids or mutants-- they say birth and the monthly curse is beautiul too. C'mon!!)I mean yeah, we've all seen the women that are big as a house 8 1/2 months pregnant, and I was mentally prepared for that (as well as scheduling my last day of work to accomodate the misery) But I've only been pregnant 3 1/2 months and I've never been such a sicky in my whole life as I've been in these months. Good gracious! Thanks to the internet, I've learned that pregnancy lowers one's immune system, as well as brings on all sorts of specific ailments that I didn't know I was in for, and I've found out the hard way.
My conditions, yes-- plural, have made me less likely to post because all I want to do is lay down and read or watch tv to distract myself from the newest illness.
Sheesh.

a seriously cool story

Though it's a brief story, it's awesome, and it made me happy. Plus, Korn wasn't good to begin with.
(How appropriate that Franklin would be trying to eat my dried flower from Jerusalem while I type this.)

Mercy, it came! My degreee finally came in the mail today! Five years of school madness, not to mention thousands of dollars, produced this 8 X 10 paper. And I did a little dance. 

soy sauce has new meaning

I'm really not sure what meaning is, but it has someting to do with having a fish for a head.

Oh and a sumo-loin-cloth

(I didn't know that it's such a dishonor to use ketchup over soy sauce that cats are hanging themselves in disgrace. Cats in Japan need to lighten up.)

*Thanks go out to Becky for this little jewel.

No it's not a bean, its a baby. Did anyone else know that they've got almost all of their anatomy this early? I didn't. This seems more weird now that I'm not in the hospital. Does that make sense?

Visit To The Hospital: a children's book

Yep I had to go to the hospital. Stupid kidneys. I told Kevin it was like a test run for D-day because I had to call him away from what he was doing, he drove home, called the doctor for me, drove me to the ER, etc. The hospital was quite good, staff and food wise. I was on the more relaxed floor where post-op people come to chill under supervision. Thank heavens that the only tube they inserted in me was my IV. I feared other tubes. Of course I has given a sporty little gown and footie socks. The footies I got away with not wearing until midway thru day two, but one of the jr. nurses caught me and tracked me all the way to sitting on the toity where she insisted I put them on. I did however get an ultrasound (from two southern gentlemen judging by their accents), which otherwise I wouldn't have had, but they wanted to make sure everything was kosher. (I'll try and put the pics on if I can)
But yes, now I'm home and I had my first shower in 3 days and I'm wearing pants! A person could get used to those adjustable beds and well balanced meals coming 3 times a day though. ;)

Bennett's a genius!

My friend Bennett just pointed out that my due date is the day after Labor Day. How funny is that! *Labor* Day! I wanna have the baby on labor day so bad now!

My milkshake is better than yours

Imagine this is the staff at your high school, and it makes it even better. It's happy even if you can't pretend.

I need to make up for that last one

Man that last post was icky. Let's just pretend I didn't post it. No one wants to know all that. (Except maybe my mom)...Hold on, gotta go get the bean dip (a.k.a. lunch)...
Ok now I have my dip, chips, laptop and the dogs' full attention.
Yeah sorry to get all geriatric about my condtions. I'd delete it, but hey, it's already out there.
I tried again to find maternity clothes that don't suck yesterday. Not much luck. I got one long shirt, because I found out that if you don't buy those silly long shirts, people can see how weird your pants look at the waist. But that's all, just the shirt. All else was crapola.
I feel funny whenever I buy mat. clothes or tell various necessary people that I'm pregnant, because people tell me "congratulations." And of course I say "thanks" but there's a moment in between where I pause and think "whad I do?...oh they mean 'good luck with that!'"
Allison and I went to IKEA last night and stocked her up with glorious swedish products at fjord-bottom prices. (ok bad joke, but you know you laughed). But really, we got good stuff. Her room is gonna look faabülüs. I wasn't much help in the lifting or carrying department. I'd like to blame it on my pregnantness, but really I'm just feeble. We did have live entertainment while we were waiting in line from a little girl and her very proper palo alto father. Why he wasn't buying whatever he needed at a boutique on University Ave I couldn't say. But she was so goofy and he couldn't handle it. It feels like the world is made right when uptight people are forced to keep company with silly people, even if it's kids. I hope that little girl fights the man all the way until she's 18. :)

ok, I've been a bad blogger

I once again have nothing to say, but I have this guilt about not blogging for a week. So here I am.
Good news- we heard the heartbeat this morning. Very weird. I have a parasite and it has a heart and a brain! heh.
No really, it's weird because, I have a heart and I can feel it on my own-- but the zygote has a heart, but I needed a little thing that looks like My First Sony for me to hear it. It's also weird because I'm not that big. I think "whoa, it must be like the size of a baseball."
(Bad news- I have a persistent infection that seems to be resistant to the antibiotics. They don't know what to do with me on that issue. There's a prayer request right there.)
Now Allison and I are going to Sears. And then she's goin job hunting and I'm going to another doctor's appointment, woo. Viva Tuesday.