confession booth

The more time I spend with other house-mom's the more I compare myself to them. And lately I've noticed I'm not playing with the same rule book as other moms. And I have no intention of changing my ways right now. But I have to get it off my chest:

1. Calling other adults Mr. or Mrs.
I knew as a kid, if I ever had to address one of my friends' parents, I would have to use the Mr./Mrs. formula. So no joke, I avoided addressing parents at every turn. I think I was backed into a corner once and had to say it, but it has always weirded me out and made me feel like a dork. When I was ever in a K-12 classroom as an adult during college, I wanted the kids to just call me Charlie, but I compromised with the law of the land and went with Miss Charlie.
I seem to be the only one that sees our society as not-really-formal, at least in the house-mom world. Maybe moms that stay home are more traditional? Because they embrace the traditional role of a woman in the home? (Ugh, the sound of that kind of turns my stomach...)

2. Asking permission to play with a toy
Now, if I didn't know how park dynamics worked, this one would come really naturally: if you want to play with someone's shovel/truck/ball, you should ask him/her first.
However, park playgrounds are a giant mixed salad of toys everywhere, if 2yr old kid, not even mine per se, had to locate the owner of a toy, then ask, for every toy that he/she wanted to play with, we'd be there all day. I don't expect the other kids to ask to use our stuff. I dump it all out, and whoever wants to use it can use it until we leave.

3. Being excused from the table
Baby R and Kid C eat like birds, and when they are done they cause a ruckus until I tell them to go away. I do intend to have them a) eat more b) sit longer for 5 min at the table when they are older, but right now, they would constantly be punished for not obeying the rules and no one would eat in peace for the next 2 years. This one embarrasses me the most when we go out. Because I have wolf-children.

4. Saying butt
Who knew that this would matter? But I think I'm the only one that doesn't use a cute word instead of butt. I often get the nervous look from other moms when I say it around other kids or when Kid C says it. I'm completely unapologetic about this one.

5. Yelling and Screaming
I have realized in the past few months that my kids are total loudmouths. Kid C couldn't say a quiet statement if she had a bandana around her mouth. I'm pretty sure I'm suffering hearing loss from it. Baby R can hardly talk at all, but his babble is on Level 10 volume all day long. I have shushed and shushed and shushed and shushed, but they are just loud talkers. Kid C in particular does the little girl shriek which is so-- horrible.

6. Peeing in public
Kid C now fears all public toilets, except for the little ones at church. It began with the auto-flush and now she fears them all. But as you all know, she has no problem droppin' her drawers in public and peeing in nature. And if I tell her she has to use a toilet or wait until we get home, she pees in her pants (which comes at a cost of an hour long time out.) That's how much she fears the bathrooms. So I let her pee behind rocks and bushes.
I know it's bad, but I don't have alot of options.
I feel like I should take photos because of all the exotic locales she has left her mark.
If I'm ever arrested, I think it will be related to my daughter urinating in public.