caution, stream of conscience ahead. turn headlights on.

(This stemmed from a comment to Bennett just now...)
I don't journal. I can't do journals. I can't look at my own silly thoughts or feelings. I never liked getting my rough drafts and practice tests back in school because I didn't want to see any little comments about what I did.
But I'm a compulsive blogger. And I love comments on my blog.

What's the difference?

I offer that it satisfies my opinions in a way that a journal cannot.
I didn't realize how opinionated I am until I talked to the spouse about his favorites/least favorites, or rather his lack thereof. He said "If someone asked me what my favorite smell is, I wouldn't know-" and I cut him off and said "I do! Clean dishwasher!"
I usually think opinionated people are pushy and can't stop telling people how to live their lives. But I keep quiet and let people live however they please.

But if you ask me, and I'll have an answer.

This is not a good trait (I have an opinion about my own opinions). I think God would rather us not have little card catalogues in our heads, stowing away each part of His creation in categories. Rather I believe that He wants us to just take everything as it comes.

And I think that is what belongs in a journal: revelations.

So when I go to Bible study and they ask "what did you journal?" I think "I read X and learned Y." I fought this aspect of myself for a while. I felt I was inferior to those who journal about how the molecules that breeze across my face and my daughter's testify to God's majesty. I honestly ponder things exactly like that in my spare moments, but as soon as I write it down, it's dumb, it's a trite statement.

Okay, okay I think I get it now. Here we go, this is my conclusion:
Anecdotal opinions I have about my daily life aren't worth picking up a pencil for and certainly aren't worth filling a leather-bound book with. But I need to communicate my opinions, so I just type them out.
But the serious things that occur to me, or revelations I have, they're only important to me. It's like the line "I poured my heart out...it evaporated." So I don't journal, because I don't want to offer those issues up for criticism from myself or anyone else.

Okay I gotta go wash dishes...