Me, I have a spoon shaped body.
My biggest problem actually is that everything larger than my waist, creeps up towards it. Usually my shirts ride up so that I look like white-trash-belly if I'm wearing pants (which are usually falling down). And the waist of my skirt will make it's way up to meet with my bra as I walk so that my hemline shortens by about 10 inches. If there's a slit in the skirt, you can bet that the world can see London and France.
In general, my spoon body has caussed me grief in the past:
When the trend was bodysuits, circa 1993, the onesies-for-women were like wearing one piece swimsuits that were too short, all day long. I hunch anyway, and the body suit made me slouch so far that I felt like I needed a walker.
When the trend was belly shirts, circa 1999, you'd think that would be good, because shirts are always too short on me. But no, they looked absurd. And I felt like a ho because more of my skin showed than other chicks'. Again, I felt the need to hunch so that my shirt went down further.
When the trend was low rise pants,circa 2003, yes yes, I know, lots of women had issues with them. If you have any extra flesh in the belt region, you look like a flabby fat back-butt. Two words: muffin top.
But now! It's the long shirt! Everywhere, long shirts! And gauchos!
Bless them.
I doubted the gauchos, I did. I was a dissenter. I remember getting weirded out in the 80's when my teacher appeared to be wearing a skirt but instead it was cleaved in the middle.
But this one girl I know wears these black stretchy gauchos all the time. And she has a big butt, but she looked so cute in them. That got me to thinkin', "I have a big butt too...Could I maybe? Dare I wear them?"
I went and bought a pair just like hers at Target. I tried them on tonight, and I love them! Me and my big butt love them. I'm a big fan of skirts to begin with. In fact, any of women that complain about your pants not fitting right, just buy skirts, it's way easier. And it's like a skirt that stays put like pants.
So tall women with big butts, (G-money I'm typin' to you, mama spoon), go out and enjoy the gaucho trend. And the long shirts, and slouch no more! It won't be long until the petites have the power in couture congress again and the fashion world will be under their control.
And my advice to you who have fought any trend that has come around since you were 15 years old: Don't fight them.
That's how old women end up with perm-ball haircuts, they fought the trends for the last 50 years.
(Now, don't be a fashion victim and restock your entire wardrobe every spring and fall, and please, please, pay no more than Ross or Target will sell it for.)
The bermuda shorts are next on my list to try! Finally, I can wear shorts and hide my thighs at the same time! Genius!
6 comments:
now if they'd make a long shirt with sleeves, i'd be set.
check out the 'bermudas' at Ross...I found a really cute pair there, AND a long top. and, I have a pair of gauchos you can have if you want.
S
HURRAY FOR LONG SHIRTS!
Long shirts never fail to make me look pregnant.
And belly shirts damned me as soon as I got an insulin pump, even back in the day when I had no belly. No one wants to see flat, toned abs with a subcutaneous catheter tube hanging out of them.
I stick with a t-shirt and jeans most days.
Gauchos on anyone under 5'4" makes her look like she should be riding a horse on Las Pampas. You know, like real gauchos who wear gauchos. Sincerely, I can think of no better way for me to costume myself as a Little Person than gauchos save posibly wearing a Pilgrim collar and singing "We're Off to See the Wizard."
Esbee, I was waiting for your comment on the gauchos! :)
Sam's too. Just wait, it'll be here any moment now.
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