Friday, May 19, 2006

I think I come across like a mental case


Is this me as a man?

Let's have a show of hands-- who else hates watching him/herself on video?
Most people do. I'm not sure why other people don't like it, but I know why i don't like it:

It's because I want to believe I'm not a weirdo.

But I'm pretty sure I'm like Perry Farell when I talk. I didn't know I did weird stuff with my eyes until I saw myself on camera do it. It's totally involuntary, like a tick, I guess. (oh my gosh)
I met someone else that did it, and it didn't weird me out, but then again, I love myself, so anything I see of myself in others, I love. :)

And then, I can't look someone in the eyes when I talk. "Experts" say that means I'm lying and can't be trusted. Great. I've tried it, but when I look at someone I totally lose my train of thought, get distracted and think "they're making a face at me, is it because I'm making a face?, did I brush my teeth?, am I standing too close? etc..."

This is also why I can't have a mature conversation with anyone in person. I'm way better through email or chat. Yes, it's strange, but I'd like to think it makes me more like J.D. Salinger, right?

No?

4 comments:

laura said...

i feel that way too...but i've never thought of myself as a female perry farrel...ha!

Gibbytron said...

you are NOT like perry farrell, that dude is a straight-up nut job.

Anonymous said...

you are so weird thinking you are weird!!!!!
your CA aunt (who loves you)

Unknown said...

um, to borrow from your blog...pull it together!! you are nothing of the sort of what you described. Would I brag about you if you were? Remember, we are our own worst critics.