Wednesday, December 12, 2007

I'm combative

I get defensive when people tell me how to design something or create art.

I shouldn't get defensive, after all I am an artist, right?

I mean, if I were, say, a plumber and some housewife tried to tell me how to solder a pipe in her house, I would just think "ok crazy lady, thanks." I would just write her off, because I'm a professional.

But I think, getting my hackles all raised up, is my insecurity coming through.
I jump to the conclusion that they know
that I only have a studio arts practice degree, and not a B.F.A.
And that I hate to draw.
And that during college I worked for a Chiropractor during college, not a gallery or a studio.
Or that I don't know how to make a vector, or a website.
And maybe that's why I bristle when someone who's a butcher, a baker or a candlestick maker says "I think it should be this way," etc.

If I wasn't unsure of myself, I would just talk right over them.
Hmm, maybe I should have taken a class of that in college "How to Ignore Other People and Get the Job Done 101"

This concept carries over to being a mom too. Like it's showing that I'm not as organized as a kindergarten teacher with a maid and a nanny. I get defensive there too for the same reasons.


ro said...

Hey, we scratched and clawed for everything we have in life, and the point is that you do have a degree, which is pretty awesome. I see what you are saying about the art and stuff...maybe you could take some more classes about vectors and websites, etc when those kids hit preschool! You've got lots of years ahead of you and a few more lessons under your belt will make you feel more secure. I realize that this came off like a pep talk, and i'm sorry for that.

Trina Merry said...

I think a class called "How to Ignore Other People and Get the Job Done 101" would have been extremely helpful. I think they should ALSO add "How to avoid showing crack 101" to the plumber and artist's curriculum.
I completely relate to what you're talking about- not only does it freak my work out, but it makes me feel like I'm an incompetent person and screws me up emotionally- that's of course why I'm doing art for churches and dancing in gyms lately- self-esteem boosters! hehehe...
I think I'm jealous you were trained at all- and honestly, I think that learning from past artists and making friends with them in "my world" is way more helpful than a class on website creation- which, by the way, is NOT fun or creative really at all. I'm about to flush a job down the toilet cuz I'm done trying to figure how to alter a website template in Flash. That stuff feels like a waste of time.

Jeremy and Kamie said...

I don't think you can put an artist in a "box". You are extremely talented and you are that way with or without a degree.