why don't ya' just call me Elsie?

When I'm offered this kind of selection, I think "are they trying to tell me I am now old and frumpy?" I've looked, and in this department these puppies only come in matronly white mega support. I'm 24, not 64, and I don't need more hooks in the back than a victorian ladies boot.
With a scrunched up face of determination I tell you I'm gonna fight it, you can't make me wear one, I won't do it.
I won't.