fecal friday

This post goes out to Aurora, fellow baby and dog parent.

This morning was quite pleasant, I made bread and cobbler from scratch, bought the spouse some pants and the baby some days-of-the-week bibs. We arrived back from errands and I smelled a familiar baby odor. I left the groceries on the kitchen counter to attend to the smelly-leaky baby butt.
It was a diaper core meltdown. Worst on record (she really does keep outdoing herself)
I was caught unprepared, and suddenly she had poop on her hands and on her shirt. I went to the bathroom to solve the problem with a bath, but she's outgrown her baby tub and can't sit up, and there was nowhere to set her down.(!)

It was at this point the frenzy began.

I set her in the empty tub while I ran the water, she freaked out. (I would too, that's one cold tub). I decided that the "guest" tub wasn't clean enough for her so I then ran down the hall with a half naked, poop smeared, damp and frantic baby in my arms to "our" bathtub that I had just cleaned hours before. I set her on our (white) bathmat while I ran the water. She was coming undone then, but it only elevated when I stood her under our tub faucet. Now I was in there too, in my underwear, because my clothes were wet and poopy too. This brought her little comfort.

It was chaos.

We both got out when she was clean enough and I let her play with the toothbrushes (her favorite toys) to calm her down while swaddled in our big white bath towel.

I hurriedly dressed her so I could finally put away the groceries.
And then I smelled another disturbingly familiar scent.

And it was not the baby.

Mojito was apparently consumed by the diaper explosion ordeal and thought that poop everywhere was a new trend. While we were in the bath, he marched into the cat's litter igloo and scattered her scat about the house.

I had to put the baby to bed and start dinner so I just closed the dogs in the bathroom. But then the cat meowed and meowed and tried to get crushed beneath me as if to say "the dog messed up my igloo, fix it, fix it, i don't like it, fix it, there's poop everywhere and litter too, eeww, fix it."
So I closed her in another room.

The baby is sleeping peacefully now and Mojito is not allowed to lick me for about five years.