colic sounds like a phlegmy word

Cricket cries alot, but I thought all babies cried a lot.
And then I talked to other people who had babies.
They don't cry this much.

So we looked up colic online.

And yes, she fits the description.

Everyone tells me it'll be over soon.
I think they're lying.

and along the same lines..

How much am I in love with this webpage?

SO MUCH!

"one girl army"

(points awarded to anyone who knows who does that song)

Sam and I decided to go to the mall and see people losing their minds on Dec 23rd, just for some good ol' people watching. We wandered around, bought a penguin sweater for Cricket with a gift card I had and then I suggested we go in Pottery Barn Kids. I had never been inside, and just wanted to see what it was all about.
I was outraged (really, me, outraged) to see what they were selling in the girls section.
Pots and pans, clothes irons, dishwashers and washing machines! What?! You gotta be kiddin' me!
And what's on the boys' side?
Right, building blocks, roads and cars, telescopes.

I shake my fist at you people! A San Francisco based company, you should be ashamed of yourself!
Please, if you have a daughter*, buy her a telescope, not a toy blender.

*If I have a son, I just might buy him a toy iron and washing machine, not enough men know how to use those.

Dr. Dolittle and the seal of the wedding contract

During our pre-marital counseling, Kevin and I were instructed to write a list of 10 expectaions we had for each other regarding our marriage. In addition to "not be a cheatin' dog" and "not to take all of our money and ditch me" I wrote down "install a garbage disposal."
I meant for it to be funny but at the same time I was dead serious.
What was funnier is that our pastor looked at kevin like a handy neighbor and said flatly, "Oh, hey that's an easy job. You can do that in a day."
Upon further inspection that turned out not to be true. Kevin bought the disposal for me for our one year anniversary and installed it for Christmas. It was apparently one pickle of a job. But I now have a disposal and after jigsawing my kitchen cabinets today so that they don't bounce back in your face when you close them, I am generally happy with the operations of our kitchen. Now it's just the room's fugliness that I have to deal with.


(This is a picture of Kevin amassing as many pets as possible on his lap at one time.)

Baby Tuesday part deux

Just two more photos. No big woop.
It was everything I could do to keep the dogs out of these shots. Anything that happens on the floor is their business.

I don't wear hemp, okay?

January 3, 2006 will make it 6 years exactly that I've lived in California. For those of you who aren't familiar with the area, I'm in northern California, classic home to liberals and hippies. Just as I will defend those that live in Dallas that don't have an accent, don't wear cowboys boots, and can't stand country music or George Bush, I will defend (albeit less mightily) those that live around here that vote Republican, don't smoke weed and have never participated in a naked protest of the Gap.
But I have become a woman without a state. Here, I'm the plucky, Bible belt Christian that loves Ranch Style Beans (called Texas Style Beans here) and Dr. Pepper. But to those in Texas I'm seen as, what my mom calls a "Granola."
I really don't think I am. I'm sort of in the middle somewhere, but I'll give you both sides:

10 reasons I am a "Granola"
1. If they make it "Organic", I'll buy it (I'm the chemical police).
2. I use cloth diapers.
3. I drive a compact car that gets 30MPG.
4. I have lived in Santa Cruz, CA
5. I try not to wear shoes if possible. If not, I wear sandals.
6. I and my baby get very few vaccinations.
7. I go to a Chiropractor.
8. I did Bradley Classes
9. I think that our gov't, no matter who's in charge, is sneaky and underhanded.
10. I'm a recycling fiend!

10 reasons I am not a "Granola"
1. I'm registered as an "Independent" voter.
2. I like Martha Stewart (not that weird appretice thing though)
3. I'm an omnivore.
4. I go to "Big Box" stores (especially Target)
5. I have no desire to live in the country.
6. I've never done any drugs.
7. I had to leave Santa Cruz because it was too quaint for me.
8. I am fully willing to wear uncomofortable clothes and shoes, and spend hours on my hair and makeup to look fashionable.
9. I've never picketed for anything.
10. I don't like camping.

All this leads up this weeks pre-Baby Tuesday photos.
I set her up to look like a little "Santa Cruz baby." The t-shirt and tie-dye socks are courtesy of Aunite Sandi (it reads "Organically Growing"). She's also sporting hawaiian print pants and a woodsie looking sweater. I accessorized with a plush homeless bum and sea lion, both critical elements of Santa Cruz.




Okay, the bandana is more of a Texas thing (shout out to Auntie Dianne in Plano, TX for giving it to her!)

There's a lack of cowboy santas here in CA

So I came up with a little lone star confectionary fun.
And I couldn't wait to eat one before the photo was taken.
Mmm, lime flavored Texas.

Have yourself a vintage little Christmas

Cricket, our tree, some presents-- old school.
Felicidades!

and in this corner...

big baby Scout has arrived!

I think the stork is going to need chiropractic treatment after delivering Scout Noelle Everett to Aurora and Scott this afternoon. She weighed in at 10lbs 13oz!
Go to her blog "Aurora's Love Child" and tell her congrats!

oh my heavens!

I wish this was a joke. But its real!

somehow I must work this into next year's Christmas card

If you love random Japanese kids stuff like me, shop here!

Baby Tuesday

She wasn't that upset. This is really more for the expression on the dog's face.

Mojito will put up with quite alot to sit on a lap. They compliment each other, small and snuggly.

Ladybug booties! She's doing a little model pose.


G'head and say it: "awwww."


Exhibit A in Mojito's destruction of property charges.


So cute it hurts!


"Hey, don't look now, but the biggest ladybugs I have ever seen are crawling on my feet!"

again I'm astounded

I was watching the Today show this morning (as I often do) and Katie Couric was interviewing a writer whose husband and daughter died. I said to him "Katie Couric's husband died too."
And he said "who?"
"Katie Couric-- the woman who's doing the interview"
"I don't know who that is."

He really had no idea who she was, until I explained/made fun of him for it.
He thought it made him superior for not knowing. I assured him to the contrary.

This is right up there with the Little Debbie incident.

Do I need another project?

Absolutely not.
But I can't stop myself.
I am a housewife now, not a domestic engineer, or even a "stay at home mom," I'm a housewife. I associate that title with the Donna Reeds and Mrs. Cleavers of the 50's who cleaned the toilet in sensible heels and wore pearls while diapering up the tots.
Now I have issues with keeping my shoes on any longer than I have to and I hate sleeping in curlers, but I think I can handle the rest of the "uniform." And I do kick it old school with my cloth diapers!
I have recently bought some dress patterns like these:



Admittedly, I'm not too skilled at following sewing patterns. I might end up breaking character, taking them to a tailor and asking them to do them for me.
If only Kevin would wear a fedora hat to work, the image would be complete.

Police Blotter

Olive Thayer
Aliases: Beyonce, Princess
Charged with multiple counts of vandalism.
She has clawed up our red leather club chair. Yes, be sad for us. All of you dog people (of which I am one) are thinking "yep, that's why cats are bad," and you're right.

Franklin Thayer
Aliases: Nervous Nelly, FDR, Franklinheimer
Charged with multiple counts of criminal mischief.
Repeat offender
Franklin has not stopped peeing on or "marking" plastic objects since I became pregnant. Plastic bags, vinyl beanbag chair, laundry hamper, vacuum cleaner, television set, nothing is beyond his stream of influence.
He pretends to be sorry. But he's not. And he'll do it again.
He's the "Verbal" Kent of the operation.

Mojito Thayer
aliases: Chorizo, the Tiajuana piranha, Mofleato
Charged with multiple counts of malicious destruction of property.
Mr. Thayer has of lately chewed a tube of diaper cream, numerous diapers and diaper covers, several rolls of masking tape, a handful of rocks, and a C battery.
No bail.

I image searched for "disciples"

and got this:

and another thing-

I don't get

Wine.
This makes me as much of a loser here in northern California as not appreciating beer does in Texas.
wine clubs
wine tasting
wine tours
sommeliers
(There's a school around here that will train you just to become a sommelier.)
Not fun for me.
When we toured a vinyard in Tuscany I felt like I was the wrong person to be taking the tour.I wanted to hear more about the history of the building.
Most of the reason I liked the movie Sideways is because it showed how silly the wine world is.
The closest thing to wine conoissseur-ing I can get on board with is Coca Cola's of the world. I like tasting different coke recipes in other countries.

"I'm not drinking any f'ing merlot!" -Miles from Sideways

ding ding ding

From 7 Deadly Holiday Money Sins by MP Dunleavey:

Guilt
Researchers are still carbon-dating early shopping samples to figure out how and when the link between guilt and gift-giving first dominated the lives of prehistoric hominids.

When they do, I hope they call me, because that nagging sense of obligation can take many forms -- and probably drives more unnecessary holiday spending than any other emotion. Witness the fractured logic:

* If I spend $50 on my sister and $75 on my brother, will my sister magically find out -- and hate me?
* Since Sally gave me a gift last year, should I get her a bigger one this year to make up for the fact that I forgot about her last year?
* If I get my secretary a little gift, I'd better get a little something for the guy who fills in at lunch -- and the intern who sits next to him -- and . . .

I'm not alone.

mas fotografias

These photos kinda suck, but I took 'em, so I'll post 'em. The dogs were in heaven with so much attention. And those big plates have "mud pie" on them.

The introverts have a party

This video could have been better. But I suddenly realized I could take a short flick of our little party last night and didn't think to wait until Kevin was done picking up the wrapping paper and dealing with the dog. Those things might make you think the party was lame, but it wasn't!
We had a gift exchange and my gifts were very steal worthy, I was proud. And I scored with a What About Bob DVD and real stove Jiffy Pop. And Kevin stole some Chex Mix and Root Beer, his favorites. We also used our new projector to put words on the screen so we could play guitar and have everyone sing along. :)

more later

Its blurry, the flash died. But you get the idea, we're a cute lil' family.

Baby Tuesday

contentment 

I made Cricket's stocking, can you tell? 

Aurora sent her this little surfboard playmat. She drooled ALL OVER it. 

Gettin dressed- in a really bright flash. 

I took this one this morning. She had an upset stomach and this seemed to make her feel better. 

solution to the previous post

My Christmas present. I tied a bow on the empty box and placed it under the tree.
(I wanted the SpotBot, but $130 was too pricey!)

add this to my list of holiday spirit killers

Notice to dogs everywhere:
DON'T EAT MASKING TAPE!

Gah!

I just came home to a living room that is virtual bog of dog barf. To top it off, he's still barfing, but I'm attached to a baby and can't throw him outside. What's two more barf puddles when you've already got six?
We used to have a dog pen so when we left the house they couldn't eat, say, anything at dog mouth level.(!)
But it was so-- ghetto, so they're new "bed" is under the sidetable.

Mojito actually destroyed the roll of tape a few days ago, which has since been thrown away. But apparently he squirreled away little tape snacks because I keep finding them around the house. And today his addiction caught up with him. I'm going to have to have an intervention.

Who would think a tiny dog could produce so much. I'm forcing Franklin to sit there with him. I know he was an accessory, he is not without masking tape sin.


Crying, biting baby and a furry little Vesuvius of vomit. Ugh.

To clarify

I like some video games. Really! Here are my fav's.

All the Super Mario games, but especially SMB 3.
Yoshi's Island
Driver (1-3)
Spiro, Spiro's Revenge
All the Odd Worlds
Legend of Zelda (the very first one)
Sonic the Hedgehog (1st one)
Incredible Crisis
Sheep
All the Raymans

Randy's Map

States I've traveled in
New York, just the airport, but hey I went outside, I was there. As you can see I believe that the south and the west are the only places worth going to.
If you don't have more than 3 red states, shame on you. Go get in your car right now and drive somewhere!

another thing I don't get

In addition to other popular american activites

doing drugs
clubbing
running
stock car racing
eating ice cream
singing in/listening to choirs
drinking beer
playing in/ obsessing over team sports

I don't get video games. I mean I do on a Super Mario Bros level, and especially if you're a kid and you have nothing else to do, or at a boring party- video games are fun.
But the XBox 360 craze, and all the game system crazes of the past Christmases, that's what I don't understand. And how grown men will spend all their time and money on video games...I think this makes me stodgy, but I'll take pinball over all that business anyday.

for a little holiday cheer...

...click here.

you can see it three rooms away

Kevin bought a projector for us. Our TV set was on the fritz so he researched and researched and researched and researched and bought it all online. All three components arrived today in the mail, FedEx and UPS all within 20 minutes of each other.
It's really big. But I'm glad everything neatly goes away when we're not using it.
The unexpected chemical smell from the screen has managed to give me a headache and I'm trying not to think of what it's doing to the baby (the baby that's crying right now as I type this).

Baby Tuesday

I went to bed at 11:45, baby woke up at 3:30 and it's 5:20.
She's up. Up up.
Ugh.
'Might as well post.

Videos this week!

I wish I was this cute and happy when I wake up in the morning.
The irony is that she had a freak-out afternoon later that day.

I recorded this on accident.

And here's one I took yesterday. Look she's sitting up, kinda.
(Yes that's Dr. Phil you hear in the background.)

Ok, just one pic, but she looks so pitiful...