Thursday, August 10, 2006

sometimes I think nature is overrated

When I first moved to CA, I lived out in the boonies. At night I had to drive really slow back to my house so that I wouldn't hit deer. Really, there were tons of deer, just jonesin' to leap out at my truck.
And then over the years I've taken walks in the hills and decided to turn around when I saw "Danger! Do not walk alone! Mountain lion warning!" signs.
I've met people that live near the hills whose dogs and cats have been eaten by coyotes.
(None of these things were ever a problem in Richardson, TX. Roaches and ticks yes. Big game, no.)


But the most annoying animals are the spiders! Everyplace that I've lived here has been chock full of spiders.
I'm not scared of spiders, and the little ones are just fine with me, I won't even move them if I see them.
Bigger ones, I'll trap and throw outside.

But oh my gosh, there are some honkers in our yard. And they are BUSY web makers*. I take a broom to their webs, they're back in two days. It's like I live in Disneyland's Haunted Mansion.

The inspiration of this post was this guy:


Holy Mary and Joseph, this spider is big and orange like a rubber halloween gag!
He wove a giant web over the baby's stroller on the front porch in about 24 hours. And he's just sitting there. Asking for me to kill him.

(I looked it up, it's not poisonous, just ugly.)


*I often like to try n' put animal world cirumstances into human terms and figure out what the parallel would be. Like in the case of the massive amounts of spider webs filled with the carcases of spent insects: Would that be like evil cannibals setting booby traps around town and killing innocent people? I think the insects should legislate or get some sort of militia against the spiders. Bug rights are being seriously violated.

4 comments:

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Nothing, and I genuinely mean NOTHING beats out Texas sized cockroaches. Especially when you get up in the middle of the night and they fly at you. Even clean people get roaches here. There's no escape!

laura said...

i've heard there are bigger roaches in florida, ewbl...

i'm not a fan of nature either. i'm always finding tiny spiders in our house. sometimes i just squish them with my finger. yeah, i'm going to hell.

Sam said...

Yeah...I totally miss having you to rescue and relocate scary spiders for me. The willow glen house was a doozy! I'm slowly training Delco to hunt and kill spiders so I don't have to :)

Anonymous said...

What kind of moron leaves their kid's stroller outside? Then complains when animals get on it duh. You had to know that would happen especially if you live in an area overrun with Spiders. Perhaps the next time you move you should do some research beforehand. You're like those dimwits who move to Arizona and then complain about having Scorpions in the house.