challenge!

This is the layout for wall one of the baby's room, tentatively.I know, I know, I'm crazy. But I can't help but push myself, I'm a painter for goodness sake, I can't just do clouds and flowers!(ignore the equations, those are nixed) 

sport quote

Kevin (and sometimes I) like to watch MLS soccer.
The commentators were interviewing the owner of the San Jose Earthquakes during the game...
commentator: "You sound so corporate.
owner: "Really? I'm not wearing underwear."

"waterloo, promise to love you for ever more"

I work in an office that has mandatory easy-listening music. This means the local play-the-same-20-songs-over-and-over station, that you never liked to begin with, or the same 5 CDs on rotation for 8 hours at a time. So I think I'm now an expert on bad artists and especially bad lyrics. I have created a short list, with examples, of artists who unashamedly write bad lyric-songs (and torture me 4 days a week):
In no particular order
-Seal. --ex. "Baby, I have compare you to a kiss from a rose on a grey"
-Five for Fighting. --ex. "I’m more than a plane, more than some pretty face beside a train"
-Abba. --as if I needed an ex. "Mamma mia, here I go again" (and they made a musical from them! what am I saying? musicals have stupid lyrics too)
-Bush. --ex. "If I treated you bad, you bruise my face...glycerine"
-No Doubt. --ex. "Sorry I'm not home right now, I'm walking into spiderwebs"
-Nickelback. --ex. "These five words in my head scream "Are we having fun yet?"
-Shania Twain. --ex. "Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!"
-Avil Lavigne. --ex. "I like you the way you are, when we're drivin' in your car"
-Madonna. --ex. "Zephyr in the sky at night I wonder, do my tears of mourning sink beneath the sun"

To prove my belief that only dumb people request these songs and put them on the top 20 list/station I have a quote from Top 20 website...
"I like that Arvil song "Complicated" good stuff on this chart I gonna be adult soon so I hope that song still on No.1 till that time"

Yeah.

CBEST in show

I took the CBEST test this morning, the California Basic Education Skills Test to those of you outside the backasswards world of California education. It's the test graduates take to qualify their two year credentialing program, or as I call it, throwing-more-money-down-the-state-tube-program. And since I'm not planning on spending more than my car is worth on more schooling at this juncture, it also happens to be the test I need to take to substitute teach.
It was pretty dang easy, as I expected. Easier than the ACT test I took when I was in high school. I think that means I was over-qualified to have subbed my own classes. It scares me that I've heard of people failing the test 3 times in a row. How did they get out of college? Is that what happens when you're a liberal arts major?
Another glaring contrast to the standardized tests of high school, was how strict the "proctors" were. Here are some examples:
1) We were not allowed within 30 feet of the testing rooms until 5 minutes before the test began. What, were we gonna plant cherry bombs in the trash cans?
2) No water allowed in the classroom. If you need to drink water during the 4 hours of the test, you have to bring a bottle in, but leave it next to the door. Then you must raise your hand, wait for the test-warden to come over and give you an orange piece of paper that allows you to get up out of your desk, pick up your water, walk outside the classroom and drink it there. Same also for pee breaks, but hopefully the person would go further than just outside the door. As the 50 year old woman behind me said "we're not children."
3) No cell phones or calculators, if you have one, you have to take it up to the front of the room, and mark it with our ID #. If caught with one on your person, your test is void.
4) State issued photo ID required. It had to be on the desk at all times and when the proctor came around to check us in, she said "you have to make the same face you're making in the photo" and we all thought she was kidding (this would've been her only joke) but she wasn't. She really made us make the face. Good thing I make the same bad smile when prompted by any government official. Oh and out of a whole room of international students, the only one the woman couldn't say was mine, Thayer. What's with that?
I did learn some interesting things from the reading selections that they provided for reading comprehension questions. Like to catch a hoop snake , you wait for it to go towards a wooden fence. Then feed it one hardboiled egg, and once it's head is thru the fence pickets, feed it another one and it'll be stuck. How bout that?
There were also two articles about Rachel Carson, the marine biologist heroine of early American ecology. Go Rachel, you matter.

okay one more thing

I found this pregnancy food guide article of genius on MSN:

"Treat yourself to something sweet on occasion
Processed foods, packaged snacks, and sugar-loaded desserts shouldn't be the mainstay of your diet, but you don't have to give up all your favorite goodies just because you're pregnant. Some smart -- and tasty -- snack ideas: Try a banana smoothie, a frozen all-fruit nonfat sorbet, or yogurt-covered pretzels and trail mix. However, don't beat yourself up if you cave in to temptation -- the occasional cookie or piece of cake won't hurt you or your baby. For more ideas, read about healthy fixes for junk food cravings. "

Um yeah thanks! I was really worried that a ho ho might harm my unborn child, idiots. Oh and uh huh, when I want chocolate cake, I'll just reach for that trail mix, that'll hit the spot, won't it? Who wrote that crap?

signed,
she who eats betty crocker frosting by the spoonful out of the can

capybara butt! thank you google. 

sooner or later, it was bound to be in a post

The capybara is my favorite animal. I would have one as a pet if it was legal, and I had a spare swamp. Llamas come a close second, I know that may come as a shock to some. They are indeed the world's largest rodent, and if that isn't enough to please ya, they "[look] rather like a cross between a Guinea-pig and a Hippopotamus." Does it get anymore funny than that?
I was spurred to post about them from tonight's Thayer encounter. The Thayers, being botantically inclined people needed to know what kind of tree was growing in someone's yard a few blocks away. So they investigated (I'll save you the entertaining morsels of how they went about it, because I think it would embarrass Kevin) and found out it was a Catalpa tree. And to be difficult I said "a capybara tree?" no a catalpa "capybara?" with the intent of confusing Kevin into forgetting. It worked until his mom ruined my game and reminded him on the way home-- no fun. Okay I know you're curious here's the tree
I know what you're thinking: Capybaras are way better than Catalpas. I completely agree.

My blog name couldn't fit more today

This morning I think I may have gotten my first professional mural job. I painted a palm tree in our office, per request, and this morning one of our pregnant patients asked who did it. I said that I did and it went on logically from there. Stupid me didn't have my business cards with me, but I wrote my info an a bright orange piece of paper, heh. She asked me to bring her more cards so she can give them to her friends. Hooray for that too! I'm getting the same self doubt that i did before Easter , like I don't know what I'm doing. But I do, I guess. I like working with a net that's all.
In the meantime, I keep tweaking my friend's business cards, but I gotta frickin' finish them soon, I think she needs them on saturday! (they do look cute though, Jenn!)
And now I have to go back to work for session two of our "big meeting" about the future of the office. Arg. Me no likey. Aren't I just "desk girl," why am I suddenly required to make a business plan...more later gotta drive back to the mine...

sad

A guy that I went to jr. high and high school with died recently and there was no record of it, when I searched on Google. That made me sad for him.
And although this won't come up on Google either, I feel the need to dedicate today's post to him:
Justin Herriage 1981-2005

alright, let me explain the phenomenon

moun·tain wom·an, n.
1) Any woman who of her own volition lives in the Santa Cruz Mountains, whose make-up to flannel ratio is 0:5, has been wronged by any man but especially "the man" and is consequently embittered towards society and non-mountain women.(fig a.)
2) Menopausal woman with free time and money that become self-proclaimed artists (with little skill and alot of opinion) who fill up rosters at local college art classes, wear flowy clothing/bad jeans and handmade jewelry.(fig b.)

This group of women is not unique to the Bay Area but I must say this is a hot bed for these people. You will find them at local craft fairs, farmer's markets, gay rights rallys, and liberal bookstores. They often travel in groups for safety, lunching together and complaining about Christians.

This made my day!

According to "Good Eats":
The world’s largest doughnut, made on July 9, 1978
in Richardson Texas, weighed about 74 pounds.

Woooooo - hooooo!!

Go Richardson! Yay!

Funny traffic quote

Painted on a work truck passing me in the right lane, it read, "American Drilling- Your hole is our goal"

Crass? I think so. Funny? I also think so.

peer pressure!

So I got my own myspace dealie. Not because I wanted my own page but because I wanted to click on my friend's stuff and it wouldn't let me. But in case you want to see mypage g'head.

Lacy is the souce of all memes

(this came from her blog, I took a few categories out because I ran out of clever things to say)

20 years ago I... (1985)
1. was still living on Oxford Dr., behind the old promanade theater that is no more, where I got my life's only real beating, by the neighbor's gradnson in plastic knight-armor.
2. crawled under my bed and got my hair stuck, but was too afraid to call for help so I ripped a bunch of it out to set me free.
3. feared our baby sitter, though she made good tuna salad and had us wear sparkly bibs for snacks.

10 years ago I... (1995)
1. was just beginning to form my own style, which no one else liked but me.
2. It was the last year my hair was in it's natural state.
3. visited a marijuna/heroin/bunny farm with my dad. Good times with Phil.

5 years ago I... (2000)
1. Moved to CA and shared a 2bedroom/1bathroom apartment with 6 other men.
2. Could not have had a worse boyfriend.
3. Started attending Graceland church in Santa Cruz.

1 year ago I... (2004)
1. Graduated from San Jose State
2. Got engaged and married.
3. Bought a house by proxy, with Kevin.

Last week I...
1. Was inducted into the creative group at church with older smarter people.
2. Picked out pretty plants to go along our picket fence.
3. Stressed over my easter performance, see blog entry.

Today I...
1. Went to work with wet hair once again.
2. Did most of this meme at work with a pencil and scratch paper
3. Can't stop eating Kevin's jellybeans, even though they make me sick (chew chew chew)

Tomorrow I will...
1. Go to the intimidating creative group meeting.
2. Wait for the plumber for the 4th time in 2 weeks.
3. Go to Bible Study

In the next year I will...
1. birth a baby (God willing).
2. Quit my job that I've had since 2001.
3. Enjoy a second toilet in our house! (we're having another bathroom built!)

Hmm, that was a dumb one to end on...oh well.

Similar yes? Kevin on honeymoon 

Mike on honeymoon 

mike y stephanie's viaje a mexico

photos from my friends' honeymoon

things my nightmares are made of

I thought I'd share a few images I spend my waking moments preventing from coming true.

Umm, confused, but still fearful. 

doesn't this woman seem too old to give birth? This is my fear of looking frumpy/old. 

This is number one in my mind. Mark my words, this will not be me. 

itty bitty post

Thank you all who have already commented. :)
Yes, the painting went well, very well actually. I made lots of people cry and many others were impressed at how fast I did it.
I kinda "hid out" because I'm so bad at taking compliments. (these weren't just 'good job!' compliments, they were like heartfelt long ones, I didn't know what to say!)
If I can figure out how to do it, when I get a tape of it, I will try to put a link on my blog so you guys can watch it.

Happy Easter!

In honor of the most important holiday of the year, and also since I have installed a counter on my blog, I have decided to allow free commenting for all for today and tomorrow.
So to all of those who visit my blog (which is so nice of you!) You should comment/say-howdy on this post, even if it's a dumb comment.
you know you want to!

This is what I'm doing today, making test paintings for tomorrow. Here's the first one. (I'm painting live during easter services tomorrow-- pressure! I have to do four and each time i have to do it in under 4 minutes, it's like my own reality show) 

yay! makes me happy!

In addition to Duvall from the Smoking Popes, mr korn bass player guy, the lead guy from Superdrag, John Davis, has committed his life to Christ too! Hooray!

again, thanks to Bennett

if you've ever been in a 'small group', you'll think this is funny.
The clips at the bottom are pretty funny too. Like it says, they made them to show what people's preconceived ideas about Jesus are. (although I think it becomes more like Mystery Science Theater 3000 digs up an incredibly cheezy jesus-movie)

food processing

I left work at about fifteen past food-time, had to run an errand, and was soon becoming quite a hungry hippo in need of some white marbles.
Carl's Jr was all around me, everywhere I drove! Tempting me with fries and splendidly greasy burgers! But I resisted for the usual reasons: I don't need to spend that money and I shouldn't eat that kind of food. Why should I not eat that food? Fries have no nutritional value, neither do buns or condiments. Really all I'm getting is protein and empty carbs. (stick with me this isn't a rant about fast food)
So I come home and what do I make myself for lunch? Pasta with sausage! It felt more fancy because it was pesto and italian sausage with bow-ties, but it was basicaly the same bricks in the food pyramid.
*shaking head* Good thing I'm taking vitamins....it's pie time!

Important: please note.

This does *not* make me a navy stroller, leggings with reeboks, performance fleece mommy that take her babies to Gymboree. Ok, whew, there I feel better.

see post for explanation 

ok, clearly a gamble

I was at Mervyns today, trying to find maternity clothes that *don't* make me look like a cow, and I happened upon the baby clothes section. Everything was 40% off in the store, mind you. So I found a couple of gender neutral items (fish, cowboys, ok they were boys clothes but cute enough for a girl) and then I saw the polka dot dress. Obviously, not gender neutral. But I had to get it, because of my obession with polka dots and the weirdness of the green bows. So I have 90 days to return it. (I don't want to have to return it!)

healthcare, grrr

Achtung: Not an interesting post.

I would like to shout it from the mountain tops that healthcare is poop. I wanted to find an obstrician that:
1. A woman/mother
2. Practices by herself (not part of a doctor pool)

That's it, that's all I wanted. Okay, I didn't want to drive out of state either.
But it's impossible.
I settled for an office of two doctors , gee I hope it goes well.

Healthcare is also poop for other reasons, namely the insurance industry. I won't go into that. Just know it's bad.

tract side 

calendar sides 

I owe everyone a quality post.

And this time it will be a "nice" post. Meaning not laden with complaining or whining.
Since a few of my friends are sad now, I was spurred to tell a nice story, so here goes. (for dramtic effect, I sometimes call this my miracle story, haha):
One afternoon when I was living in Santa Cruz, I had been walking along West Cliff (road that goes along the shore) and I had stopped to watch the kelp, ahem I mean, the ocean. And as I was staring out, this little old man walks up to me out of nowhere and hands me two tracts (for those who don't speak christian-lingo, tracts are like God's summary cards-- you'll see it in the photos), and he says "It's all going to be alright," and walks away. I looked down at the tracts and at first I didn't think anthing more than oh what a funny old man, these tracts are really old but that was nice of him.
Please note, it wasn't the lowest day of my life, but I wasn't really living my life how God would want it, He wasn't the center. In general, I did need to be reminded that He is in control of everything.
But here's the cool part, I looked at the tracts again and the older one was the year I was born 1981, and the other one was the year I gave my life to Christ 1990 (or you could say, was reborn). How awesome is that?

See, nice story. One of my favorites.

why is good stuff expensive?

can't I be cheap and cool?

me like .wav files

In honor of my search of funny wav files, I have updated my profile with a really nice one. :D Please visit and see if you can guess what movie it's from.

I would also like to add some more sound
files for your listening pleasure

it's funny, please don't think I'm serious

I mean well, I am seriously gonna use this place for diaper service, but otherwise it's all humor...poop triangle! snappy clips!

Optimistic

If I must

(Yeah yeah, it does seem like a pain in the butt. But cloth's better for everything and everyone involved (except me))

This is also my plan

Yeah buddy-- before they can walk! Doin that!

Let's hear it for the snack cakes!

*pointer fingers in the air!*
I've been inspired to pay homage to the Le Petite Debrette herself (well and 'the man' that makes her delightful confections).
Let's do a top five, shall we?

5. Zebra Cakes

4. Star Crunch

3. Oatmeal Creme Pies (apparenly these are considered "cookies." that's a big frickin cookie)

2. Apple Flips (again a cookie? I think not.)

And the real reason I was inspired by Little Debbie, her finest creation, that I admit, I fantasized about just yesterday at work....

1. Fudge Brownies!

Alright, I know you're all thinking it: They're so--- bad for you. I'm pretty sure no ingredient involved has any redemable quality. And although, with the exception of the fudge brownies :) , I haven't eaten one since I was a kid, we cannot forget these little gems! Long live the snack cake!

Other points of interest:

weird

and weirder!!

I promised to tell the world...

Kevin's never heard of Little Debbie!!!!

He's almost 28 years old andI know he has been to a quickie mart at least once in his life.
I still can't believe it.
Man, his parents really did raise him on healthy food, and I guess there wasn't any trading going on at school lunches.
This all started when a Little Debbie commercial came on TV and I said "Hey look, the little debbie logo and the budweiser logo are the same." It was then he revealed his shetered youth!

%@#*&! Dog puke!

My little brown half-breed will apparently eat anything he finds just so he can puke it up again. He makes sure to be on the carpet when he does it. He also waits until I'm done dry heaving and mopping up who-knows-what to puke again and again! Aaaa!
Grass? yes. Composting vegetables? of course. Random trash? why not?
Oh so gross! And it's almost the same with his other end. Thankfully not as often, because it's worse.
Franklin, thankfully, has a sturdier GI tract or at least the sense not to consider putrid found objects as lucky snacks.
He's now in solitary confinement, the crate, for everyone's good (except his). I hope he doesn't barf on the grandparents tonight. Gah!

Why not post two? I hope you can read this. This was from Kevin's mom on Valentines Day. It's on the fridge, it makes me smile everytime. 

Upon request, here's our new fabulous dishwasher. Sitting in today for Barker's Beauties are my boys. Look how hard Franklin is trying to stay! haha.

I love Kevin!

That's right, I'm a big cheese head! But Kevin's sick today, and so am I. But I'm saying he's more sick because he had the pukeys last night. Poor baby. And now he's trying to clean and he just loaded our new dishwasher* and brought me a cupcake! What a lamb!


*Our dishwasher is a nifty portable avacado green model from circa 1970. It's a real gem. It only cost us 50 bucks and it rolls and hooks up to our sink**. Hooray!

**That's right sink. Why? Because apparently for the last 50 years the previous inhabitants of this house either were anorexic or ate lots of chinese take out because our kitchen only came with a sink and a faucet. How could people live like that?

groan!

Okay people, listen up. Men and women, all can benefit. People don't tell you how miserable it is to be to be pregnant. (the people who tell you it's beautiful must be androids or mutants-- they say birth and the monthly curse is beautiul too. C'mon!!)I mean yeah, we've all seen the women that are big as a house 8 1/2 months pregnant, and I was mentally prepared for that (as well as scheduling my last day of work to accomodate the misery) But I've only been pregnant 3 1/2 months and I've never been such a sicky in my whole life as I've been in these months. Good gracious! Thanks to the internet, I've learned that pregnancy lowers one's immune system, as well as brings on all sorts of specific ailments that I didn't know I was in for, and I've found out the hard way.
My conditions, yes-- plural, have made me less likely to post because all I want to do is lay down and read or watch tv to distract myself from the newest illness.
Sheesh.

a seriously cool story

Though it's a brief story, it's awesome, and it made me happy. Plus, Korn wasn't good to begin with.
(How appropriate that Franklin would be trying to eat my dried flower from Jerusalem while I type this.)

Mercy, it came! My degreee finally came in the mail today! Five years of school madness, not to mention thousands of dollars, produced this 8 X 10 paper. And I did a little dance. 

soy sauce has new meaning

I'm really not sure what meaning is, but it has someting to do with having a fish for a head.

Oh and a sumo-loin-cloth

(I didn't know that it's such a dishonor to use ketchup over soy sauce that cats are hanging themselves in disgrace. Cats in Japan need to lighten up.)

*Thanks go out to Becky for this little jewel.

No it's not a bean, its a baby. Did anyone else know that they've got almost all of their anatomy this early? I didn't. This seems more weird now that I'm not in the hospital. Does that make sense?

Visit To The Hospital: a children's book

Yep I had to go to the hospital. Stupid kidneys. I told Kevin it was like a test run for D-day because I had to call him away from what he was doing, he drove home, called the doctor for me, drove me to the ER, etc. The hospital was quite good, staff and food wise. I was on the more relaxed floor where post-op people come to chill under supervision. Thank heavens that the only tube they inserted in me was my IV. I feared other tubes. Of course I has given a sporty little gown and footie socks. The footies I got away with not wearing until midway thru day two, but one of the jr. nurses caught me and tracked me all the way to sitting on the toity where she insisted I put them on. I did however get an ultrasound (from two southern gentlemen judging by their accents), which otherwise I wouldn't have had, but they wanted to make sure everything was kosher. (I'll try and put the pics on if I can)
But yes, now I'm home and I had my first shower in 3 days and I'm wearing pants! A person could get used to those adjustable beds and well balanced meals coming 3 times a day though. ;)

Bennett's a genius!

My friend Bennett just pointed out that my due date is the day after Labor Day. How funny is that! *Labor* Day! I wanna have the baby on labor day so bad now!

My milkshake is better than yours

Imagine this is the staff at your high school, and it makes it even better. It's happy even if you can't pretend.

I need to make up for that last one

Man that last post was icky. Let's just pretend I didn't post it. No one wants to know all that. (Except maybe my mom)...Hold on, gotta go get the bean dip (a.k.a. lunch)...
Ok now I have my dip, chips, laptop and the dogs' full attention.
Yeah sorry to get all geriatric about my condtions. I'd delete it, but hey, it's already out there.
I tried again to find maternity clothes that don't suck yesterday. Not much luck. I got one long shirt, because I found out that if you don't buy those silly long shirts, people can see how weird your pants look at the waist. But that's all, just the shirt. All else was crapola.
I feel funny whenever I buy mat. clothes or tell various necessary people that I'm pregnant, because people tell me "congratulations." And of course I say "thanks" but there's a moment in between where I pause and think "whad I do?...oh they mean 'good luck with that!'"
Allison and I went to IKEA last night and stocked her up with glorious swedish products at fjord-bottom prices. (ok bad joke, but you know you laughed). But really, we got good stuff. Her room is gonna look faabülüs. I wasn't much help in the lifting or carrying department. I'd like to blame it on my pregnantness, but really I'm just feeble. We did have live entertainment while we were waiting in line from a little girl and her very proper palo alto father. Why he wasn't buying whatever he needed at a boutique on University Ave I couldn't say. But she was so goofy and he couldn't handle it. It feels like the world is made right when uptight people are forced to keep company with silly people, even if it's kids. I hope that little girl fights the man all the way until she's 18. :)

ok, I've been a bad blogger

I once again have nothing to say, but I have this guilt about not blogging for a week. So here I am.
Good news- we heard the heartbeat this morning. Very weird. I have a parasite and it has a heart and a brain! heh.
No really, it's weird because, I have a heart and I can feel it on my own-- but the zygote has a heart, but I needed a little thing that looks like My First Sony for me to hear it. It's also weird because I'm not that big. I think "whoa, it must be like the size of a baseball."
(Bad news- I have a persistent infection that seems to be resistant to the antibiotics. They don't know what to do with me on that issue. There's a prayer request right there.)
Now Allison and I are going to Sears. And then she's goin job hunting and I'm going to another doctor's appointment, woo. Viva Tuesday.

NorCal good.

Lots of people that live here in the Bay Area think that southern california is better: cheaper housing, more glamourous, warmer, wealthier.
But I give you Exhibit A
Hello! In addition to people's houses sliding down the mountain in a muddy deluge, and people dying bizarre deaths and I quote "a 16-year-old girl who was doing homework in an apartment bedroom when boulders hit her home near Irvine" (death by boulder!!) they also have tornadoes.
So I say from comfy Santa Clara, you can keep your swimmin' pools and movie stars. NorCal reigns superior.
Note: When Kevin and I were house-shopping, I found out that only rental properties are built near creeks and rivers because when an earthquake hits, those houses turn to poo.

I told myself I would leave some for Kevin. By eating it right out of the tin, it's obvious I didn't have any *real* intentions of leaving any pie. 

very oddtodd of me

This show is cool. It's what I'm watching right now.
Say it. Zeugma
It's fun, do it. Zeugma
Zeugma.

maybe just a little pity...a pinch?

Preface: I am very blessed to have my job. Very very blessed.

The following is being transferred off three quarter-sheet scratch papers stapled together...

"I'm writing this post on a piece of my recycled-back-of-junk-fax at 9:11 a.m.-- That's a bad sign of job boredom. Fortunately, we've had a lot of patients come in this morning, so that keeps me reasonably occupied. But it's this unexplicable sleepiness that comes over me like a mickey that makes my job lean towards maddening. The calming music ain't helping either. I really feel like my head could hit the desk at any moment; good thing chiropractic attention is nearby.
I systematically segment my work time into smaller goals. For instance, 10am is only 2 hours away from leaving for lunch. So now it's almost 10 and I feel a little better.
This also happens to be the same concept that I use for my alarm clock (which isn't a clock at all, it's a cell phone). One alarm for 5:45, one for 6:00 and the last for 6:40. Again for instance, at 5:45 it goes something like this: *HAPPY JAPANESE ALARM SONG* "what? oh, it's okay I have another hour before I have to get up..." And then fifteen minutes later I think "yay 40 more minutes!" which is usually followed by lots of flopping back and forth happily, knowing I don't have to get up until the 3rd alarm.
As you can imagine, this is annoying to other sleeping people. Contact husband or prior roommates for details.
Oh my gosh, it's been 10 am for way too long! My hope is turning to despair everytime I look at the clock and it says "9:56....9:59...10:01....10:02" !!

....

There was more, but I really starting losing it when 10am seemed to last thirty minutes, and my post started going downhill.

mystery!

A couple years back, Kevin and I walked into church (see link on side) one sunday and sat on the same row as this guy who was sitting by himself. He looked like he was about our age, so I said "hey kevin why don't you introduce yourself?" So he did and then I introduced myself and after service we thought we'd all get lunch. He knows this other girl we see on the way so she comes too. Very spur of the moment and I'm secretly patting myself on the back for being friendly and spontaneous. We go eat and we're not like the most alike people in the world, but hey I'm not that similar to alot of my friends. So I think Kevin and him exchange e-mail addresses and after that I think they might have once emailed each other. And after that, nothing! I'd see him, or the girl at church, and I wouldn't even get a smile.
Mystery!
Of course I think it's something I did or Kevin said to him. But insists he said nothing. So it's gotta be me! How could I have done/said something in those couple of hours to get cut off. What did I do?
I saw him this morning (I've since gleaned that he and the other girl are now an item and have been for sometime now) and I smiled and waved, hoping that time would heal whatever it is I did, but I got a big blank stare at close range!
I was discussing with Kevin, who of course could give a crap if someone doesn't like him, the odd fact that I have tried to be friendly to other guy-peers at church (I work on the technical side so there are many) and they're not very friendly to me. And I tried to draw a connection to the "mystery."
Either:
a) I am such a freak of nature, totally devoid of social skills that only nice old people will be friendly to me at church.
b) I'm such a smoldering vixen-temptress that they are afraid they will think lustful thoughts at me if they dare pay me any attention.
c) Boys aren't nice to girls, even when you're 20-somethings, unless they see you as a potential hook-up.

It's gotta be letter c! I refuse to believe I am that extreme on either side of the spectrum, although the paranoid in me leans towards letter a and the narcissist in me would love to believe letter b.

Of course it could be a mix of A and B. My "being social" somehow comes across like I'm hitting on them and they get weirded out. But hello, I got a big ol' wedding ring! Maybe I should begin with "Hi! I'm Charlie and I'm married and pregnant..."

Dog sitting dog #2, Lola. Don't be fooled by the scale or stillness. She's neither small or stationary. 

Dog sitting dog #1, Oden. He's butting me as I type this 

I'm not gonna even have a reason!

So Aurora does really good long posts, and Allison's makin us all feel inadequte with the fancy-fangled audio posts-- and I'm laggin. So without a plan I'm posting!
Time: 1:05
Feelin: hungry and sleepy and thirsty
Dogs: whereabouts uncertain, they're free range right now

So I had to go solo to our couples Bible study last night. When Kevin told me he had to work I immediately thought "doesn't that mean I don't have to go?" 'Have to go'! What's wrong with me?! I like going. But my instinct is exert least effort necessary. Ugh, sometimes I don't know what to do with myself.
So I go, and it's really full this week, 7 couples. I scanned the 6 new faces to see if I saw any hope of finding another weirdo like me. I have a couple of leads but nothing solid so far. I tried to make up for last weeks ugliness by staying in my work clothes and keeping my smarty-pants glasses on the whole evening. I'm not sure if I fooled anyone because as soon as it came time for me to talk I sounded like suzy-cheerleader meets Rainman.
I finally get into a Bible study with adults and it makes me realize I'm not mature. Not like I wanted to be mature. But since I can't speak eloquently about my spiritual journey off the cuff, I've concluded that I will forever express myself like a fourteen year old: talk really really fast, don't make eye contact and be awkward enough to be funny.
I think I'm okay with that. I have this innate need to be different and I'm beginning to see that's how it's manifested itself.
Not to say that I can't play the "intellectual" role. I have to pull that card at any in-law family function. If I don't sound like I just fell off the Ivy league truck, then they won't pass the potatoes to me. (the grandparents are the only exception. I like them because they e-mail and watch the daily show and they like me because I wear funny tights and tell jokes).
Oh and I also brought our wedding album last night, because they said we'd have to tell the story of our relationship. I like visuals, so that's why I brought it. 'Ended up that not only did we not have time for everyone to go, but people were like telling their stories in 5 sentences or less. So I just hid the album between the other books as to not look like a nerd. But as I was leaving one girl spotted it and wanted to see it, and then everyone looked at it. Which brings me to another of my idiosyncracies: Announcing how little I paid for stuff. Why do I do that?! Some would say "nice ____" and I would follow it by "found it ____, only paid _____!" Which is of course followed by their expression of I-didn't-need-to-know-that. Occasionally I will find a shopping-hunter like me who appreciates it, but overall I just need to start rehearsing the line: Thank you very much.

*eyecontact* Thank you very much.
Oh thank you, how nice of you to say so.*Audrey Hepburn smile*
I'm so glad you like(d) it. *hands clasped*


(oh who am I kidding? I'll be Grace Kelley when my dogs win the Iditarod!)

This is my dad Phil. Just let it sink in, like you were at a museum .What do you feel? 

cancellation policy

So I cancelled my "OB" visit for this morning. I found out that Kevin is on call so he couldn't come with me, and since this was supposed to be the hear-the-heartbeat appointment I wanted him to be there.
Plus, I really don't think I'm 3 months along. I'm sure it has to do with me giving her misinformation about myself. Either that, or those people count funny. I, like most regular chicks I know, don't meticulously mark my cycles on my calendar. So when they question me, I'm just guesstimating. And I'm thinking that threw her off.
So I'll just stay home and boil some nice artichokes. :D

Not that deep at all

Sometimes I wonder if I'm who I think I am. Not in an existentialist way, but in a "Am I that woman in the zebra pants?" kind of way.
How far away am I from looking like I just got out of rehab?
We had our first Bible study last week and I caught a glimpse of myself amidst the group in te over-the-couch mirror, and there was a clear contrast between me and the other members.
Maybe it was my sharky ponytail or my lack of make-up or it could have been my loud blue shirt. Not a good combo in hindsight. I think I could have frosted the look with toothpaste at the corners of my mouth and snotrags bulging out my jean pockets. (don't worry, I sported neither to my knowledge)

P.S. I believe that if I actually did lose my mind I *would* start wearing velour sweatsuits (you know the ones I mean) or neatly blowdrying my hair into place, and start blending in.

I make copy-cat quote

C: "The dogs are snuffling. Do you know for whom the dogs snuffle?"

K: "They snuffle for me"

-conversation with half-awake Kevin when I left for work last week

problem solved

Here is the only acceptable family car I've found:sweet.

(too bad it's probably a death trap)

stupid air condtioner

So originally the plan for a me and my car, that hasn't had AC since 1 month after I bought it (grrr), was to wait a few more years and just get a whole new car. This would also be around the estimated baby-time, so it would all work out.
However it seems I'll be a big prego in the middle of summer and will also have a neworn when it's hot as well. And I know it gets hot enough in my car, even with all the windows down that Mojito nearly got heat stroke one time.
But it's so--- expensive to replace the broken parts (compressor, ac clutch, tubes, etc). like 900 bucks. Ugh. And in the back of my mind I'm thinking "the tires are gonna need to be replaced soon, and the wheel bearing, and replace the brake pads..."
I need to go on Price is Right and win a car.

Too weird not to share

Massage therapy is everywhere in my life now:
I work for a chiropractor (part of my job is referring patients to M.T.'s)
One friend of mine is beginning her practice.
Another friend is about to begin M.T. school.
(don't worry this post gets better...)
Also, across the way from my office is a suspicious "healing center" with a back door entrance and an unlikely woman who has an all male clientele.

It's that mysterious office that reminded me of a good story:

On Sam's birthday last year, I decided that we were both in need of massage. (her b-day's in May right around exams.) My idea was spur of the moment, so I knew that the MT's I'm familiar with from my office would be booked already. So I instead called the closest place in the phone book, down the street from our house. The woman spoke almost no english, but to a cheapskate like me that meant *lower price!*
The office was on a big street in a nice part of town. We parked and walked up to the door and as we were entering, a man that looked like he would slip a pill in your beer at a frat party walked out. An asian woman dressed like Forever 21 clearance rack had us go back to our rooms through a dark hallway. (suspicion should have begun now)
I had just walked in my room when an asian girl in a stretchy white sparkly juniors dress comes in and says "forty dollar now!" They had told me 30 on the phone, but I gave her my credit card anyway because I didn't think she would understand me if I argued. She brought back the slip to sign and I think I signed it on the wall or the floor, definitely remember it being awkward. She seemed annoyed with me as soon as she came in the room, but then asians always seem annoyed with me. When I laid down on the table I noticed it didn't have a headpiece so your face can lie flat, it was just like a padded table (bad sign!). She gave me a mamby pamby shiatsu (thanks to Jenn for doing practice massages on me for class, otherwise I wouldn't know) and then traded with another woman halfway through. Both of them went so fast I felt like a shrimp on the griddle at Benihana's.
Did I mention the room was really dark and had a huge mirror in it? Yeah, it was, and it did.
Afterward Sam and I met outside and I think I said "that was weird...was your lady weird?" She concurred.
It wasn't until later that I convinced myself that was one odd massage place. Also when I told people my story who get massages all the time, they looked at me like i had gone to an opium den. Hell, maybe I did, it was so dark I couldn't see...oh I forgot-- and there was a shower in there, a dark shower...

That place across from where I work has the exact same vibe. Same type of woman who works there. I keep thinking "maybe in China, all massage therapists wear mini skirts."
Tipping off the authorities is out of the question. I'll have the Chinese pimpin' mafia to deal with, I'm sure.

Lesson learned: Don't get massages from strangers in tight clothes.

chihuahua's can't resist blanket forts 

brilliant! 

the play pen just got better

I brought the last remainder of my crap home from texas on my last flight back. My sister let me use one of these gigantic tupperware containers to tote it home in, and ever since I emptied it here, I've had no idea what to do with it. Then Aurora told me she made a dog bed out of one of hers. So I took one of Kevin's old blankets (circa 1991) and 'upholstered' it and stuck the dog pillow Sam made for Mojito in there for more of a 'fort' feel.
Hooray, see they love it already.

Good thing I haven't given Brad my blog site, he probably wouldn't appreciate his face being broadcast to the internet. (take it up with my legal department) 

Obviously I only have a digital camera, and a photo album. Need scanner. :) 

Nothing, but it's something

I just have to put a new post up, that other one was way too serious! I couldn't take looking at it, and it's lack of comments, which is probably because it's too serious.
So 4 days until the cross country blind date between Allison and Brad. Since most people who read this blog only know one of them, I'll be posting photos above. I'm a little nervous about the whole thing, since I'm the mastermind. I think they're a good match, but I could also be a moron, so we'll see. Neither of them specifically asked for a date, nor have they ever expressed the need for one, so if the evening is monopolized by Kevin and I talking I shouldn't be surprised.

I'm not political enough.

I've been browsing the land of other blogs tonight (post super bowl and while watching mythbusters) and it seems like most of the people who have my same interests, have political platforms.
I don't.
I try to avoid any specific political decisions/opinions unless I'm forced to when I vote (and I do vote, don't worry!).
There's very little I can think of that would cause me to write my local congressman, and only two things I would protest over. Otherwise, gosh, calm down people.
Yes, big business runs our lives and the little/poor man will always get screwed over. You can never make enough laws to stop people from being selfish, greedy or hateful. Anyone who has ever been to a 3rd world country knows the perspctive it gives you when you retutrn home. This country is like Disneyland.
Even if we went to war for the wrong reasons, Bush isn't an evil dictator that tried to rub out Kerry.
And if everyone in this country isn't courteous to homosexuals, notice they aren't being exterminated by the masses.
What I'm trying to say is, we (especially we the middle class youth of america) need to appreciate what we have.
Ok, there I was political, now I'm an official blogger.

Puppy Bowl!!!!

It's really happening! Puppy Bowl!

Figure 2. for #20...that's Kevin btw 

Figure 1. for #20 on my list 

The 100 List [the first 33]

Aurora said that 100 lists are narcississtic, and she's totally right. I'm doin' it, because it's all I know.

1. I love to eat at work
2. I won't get my lazy ass up out of bed 10 minutes earlier so that I can get starbucks muffins for work. Even though when I'm at work, I would give my pinky toes for one.
3. My dogs guilt trip me into letting them up on the couch with me, even though they fart and snort.
4. I'm not very nice to our cat, but I make an effort once in a while.
5. I hate it when my shirt rides up (all the time!)and then it looks like I'm a slovenly ho'.
6. I don't like dirty keyboards or remote controls.
7. But that doesn't stop me from eating while typing or channel surfing.
8. One of the reasons I chose to live in the Bay Area is because it's near the ocean.
9. But I also think the water's too cold, it's got too much kelp in it and surfers get attcked by sharks- so I just look at it.
10. When I go to any salon, they like go on and on about how tangly and fine my hair is--- I know!
11. The king of my "closet-music" collection is James Taylor (love him!)
12. My two phobias are mental illness and falling into murky water.
13. I have personalized california poppy plates that say "DEI *heart* PAX" (God, love, peace)
14. I think Chiropractic is important for everyone. (www.drtracy.net)
15. I believe in Jesus (Son of God, rose from the dead, paid for the world's sins.)
16. I fully support the Intelligent Design movement in science education.
17. Sometimes at work, I want to crawl under my desk and take a nap.
18. In college I was too cheap to buy good art supplies (I was an art major), and I used crayola crayons to do 2 assignments. (shameless!)
19. I hate astrology.
20. If my chihuahua could have his way, he would never stop licking people.
21. I love Boston, Bad Company, Steve Miller Band, and the Guess Who, but I've had a strange fear of committing to buying their albums for the last 10 years.
22.I like Tex-Mex way better than "real" Mexican food.
23. Once when I was in Reyonosa Mexico, I was served a tamale with part of a pig snout in it. Mercy!
24. My husband proposed to me with a house and an analogy about house cats.
25. I said yes and then I unintentionally pounced.
26. I avoid beige, grey, olive, and pastel colors whenever possible.
27. I think all windows on houses should have shutters (the fake kind I mean, but hey real would be cool.) There's a severe lack of shutters 'round these parts.
28. I could never be a salesman, a group home counselor, or a fire fighter. Anyone who knows me being kempt&pushy, confronting, and physical strength are not my strong points.
29. I love polka-dots and stripes and I hope I never get over them.
30. Pirates, pirates and more pirates! Hooray!
31. Generally I don't like reality TV. Exceptions are: Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Extreme Home Makeover and What Not to Wear. Happy and Helpy shows.
32. I will fast forward through cry-able scenes or uncomfortable moments in TV or DVD's. If I can't ff, I bury my head.
33. I don't like Pink Floyd, Rolling Stones, Nirvana or Smashing Pumpkins. Die hard music people seem to think I'm idiot for that.

Nombres nombres nombres

Like people (chicks) I know, I have been selecting names for my future children since I was probably-- 7rs old. And I thought I had my mind made up about the names way before I ever saw that little pink line on the test. ..(How can a Boston Terrier possibly get enough oxygen with his face pressed in my elbow pit?)...But then I made a mistake, telling people the names! Now of course, I doubt my otherwise sound judgement. I find myself driving around and searching for any text I can find on street signs, advertisements or car names. I think I'm starting to obsess. Which makes me think: I should just make up my mind now.
Please. Make up my mind now, like I can do that. I dont know how people who decide that they're naming their son John Jr. in month one, can live with themselves? How can they not give into the tempation of another better name out there?
What I'm really hoping most of all is that I don't look at my child years later and think "man, what a stupid name."
But what I won't do is offer up a vote for people. Damn right won't. Other people pick names like Caitlin, McKenna, and Connor.
{{disclaimer}} My apologies to anyone who named their child any of the above names, I'm sure they're perfectly nice children.}
So I've decided to keep my final decision top secret, classified information. Everyone will just have to wait until D-day to hear the results of my months of obsession.
(anything to make me feel more like a secret agent :) )

Top 9 Reasons Allison should move here.

(I like 9 better than 10, because I'm a special person)

9. Trader Joe's grocery stores

8. Dog Beaches

7. IKEA

6. It's an anti-Bush area

5. Abby needs a little boston boyfriend named Franklin, and a little latin-lover on the side named Mojito

4. Brad!

3. Less Hummers

2. More geography

1. It's not DFW